Shifting into what is

What a week this has been already, and its only Wednesday. As most of you know about two weeks ago my husband got a second degree burn while at work on his hand. Well today is his first day back to work, he is on modified duty but he is happy (and so am I) to go back to work. He has to wear a glove to protect it from the sun but I think he is well on the road to recovery.

Beyond that there has been a lot of things stirring up with me. Yesterday was one of those days where I felt it the worst. With all the time I had been spending taking care of hubby, I had put myself on the back burner, which I now know was the worst thing I could have done. I lost my center, and my balance, which for me is rather hard to find once lost.  I spent most of the day aggravated and annoyed for reasons that I didn’t know. I saw myself getting frustrated by the smallest things, without reason. So I got away from everyone, and just read my book. I knew that something was going on internally that had to be released but it wasn’t time, yet.

I have felt a shift on the horizon for quite some time now, and yesterday was proof of that. Bringing old patterns that no longer serve me to the surface to be released. I saw this proved to me, many times yesterday. First there was the voice in my head saying “You should drive separate so you can get errands done while his car gets inspected.”  My husband had to his yearly car inspection done yesterday which should of only been a half hour, but he needed work done so it took 4 hours instead. I ignored the voice in my head, so we had to call his mother to come cart us around. Had I listened, it would have been no big deal.

The second sign I should have listened to is when I told myself “Speak up! Tell him how you feel! Find your voice, use it!” My husband was annoying me, and just over all bothering me but instead of saying anything I just pushed it down. The little voice in my head that used to tell me negative things is now encouraging me to use my voice; it’s encouraging me to grow and change in ways I truly need to. Old patterns coming forth to be transformed into light, making room for more positivity in your life; this is the message I hear. Which all seems to be a part of the shift that’s coming; its gets stronger and stronger by the day. Another thing that has been very clear to me lately is the fact that I am not this body. I am a living energy that is only dwelling within this organic machine until I am done here. When I look through these eyes I think “Wow! I am here again, I forgot how beautiful it is here.” When I see my arm moving I think “This is my arm, wow. I can move it, how incredible.” I am in awe over everything like I am seeing it all for the first time. Completely conscious and aware that I am a spirit having a human experience, seeing the world around me in such a new beautiful way.

Seeing more with my eyes, than with my heart. My heart sees the hopes I have for everyone but my eyes, they see beyond the mask of illusion. They see the parts that everyone wants to keep hidden, they see the truth. I don’t know what it is that is shifting and happening but I can tell you I am loving and embracing it. I see a lot of wonderfully beautiful things ahead for all of us, if  we so choose them.

 

Have a stunning day!

xoxo

New Video is Up!

This video is simple and from the heart, and decided not to talk the whole time.

I hope all of you decide to stop the endless cycle of self hate, and unworthiness.

Its time to shine your beauty upon the world

Let your self shine!

I love all of you, my mission is to uplift you & show you its never to late to change

love is always the answer and it lies within all of us.

Be the beautiful being you were meant to be

Thank you everyone, you have inspired my life

YouTube/bohemianexplorer

Instagram/ bohemianexplorerblog   Facebook/ bohemainexplorer

 

We all have bad days

It’s funny how one day you are feeling wonderful and vibrant and the next it seems like an endless sea of darkness has come for you. On Easter Sunday I felt wonderful, my husband, Norman and I all decided we would go for a morning hike in one of my favorite forests. It’s an old forest, with ferns everywhere and mossy trees stumps; it is such a magical place.  We walked to the lake, and up the mountains; my husband said we must of walked 8 miles. It was wonderful to just be out surrounded by the trees, and be outside. So needless to say I was feeling free, light and optimistic about life in general. We had Easter dinner with my parents outside, which was a very enjoyable.

The next day I wake up and I feel the total opposite of everything I was feeling just hours earlier. I was judging myself harshly, I felt pessimistic and dark. I no long felt the universe was aiding me in achieving my dreams, even though I did not believe that to be true. I know that we are spiritual beings and that we are all meant to have down days, it was just strange that it seemingly came out of nowhere. Then I was told that the schumann resonance had peaked to its highest ever recorded state on Sunday, so I thought that was aiding in my feelings. I saw 12:12, smiled and thanked the universe for the gentle reminder that everything comes in time, and when we need it.

Then yesterday, the internet was out. So for us that means no computer, phone or tv (since we do not have cable.) It was a beautiful day so I figured I would go outside and get the work in the gardens done; it needed to be done and I had been putting it off. So I went to Lowes and go some flowers to add to the gardens, came home and went to town. I put on some music, brought normie outside, and played in the dirt. I spent just about all day outside, the gardens where in worse shape than I thought. By the end of the day I felt accomplished and wonderful again. It is crazy how easily sucked into the internet, it has an endless sea of knowledge yet so many of us know so little. So it’s nice to be disconnected for a day, I truly think I needed it.

I love how the universe works everything out, it was the only way to get me outside and do what needed to be done. I need some me time in the sun, I needed to ground, and needed to relax. The funny part is after all that was done and I got my shower the internet began to work again. It still cracks me up!!  Anyways, my point is things happen for a reason especially when we ignore what we are being told. The universe and our guides will make a point for us to get the message; you can only ignore things for so long.

Most people think just because you are positive or enlightened in any way that means you never have a bad day. It’s quite the opposite actually, you may have more bad days than ever before because you are dealing with, and moving on from all the crud you have kept hidden or locked away. The only way to find enlightenment is to first deal with everything inside you; the only difference is when you’re a spiritual or positive person you trust it, let it flow and let it go. You know you are strong enough to get through anything and that this too is just a test of your strength and your faith. Nothing happens by accident, everything has a purpose. Feel the sadness, understand it, and let it go. I have and I can tell you I feel better than ever. I am simply making room for light to live within me.

 

Have a blessed day everyone! Spread love & kindness everywhere you go!

xoxo

April Full Moon

How is everyone feeling since the full moon last night? Did everyone feel the energy she gave off? How did she affect you?

For weeks pervious to the full moon I was feeling foggy, sluggish, exhausted and every bone in my body ached. I was having these bursts of anger coming seemingly out of nowhere; and over the littlest of things. I am not an angry person normally so this was very strange for me. I am usually the person that everyone goes to when they need lifted up, or just need to vent their sorrows. I am seemingly a beacon of light in cloud of darkness; this is why I am protective of my energy. And for the past few weeks I have not been that for everyone, I have been disconnected; wanted to be left alone in my own little world of haze while I undergo this transformation.

I am sure many of you know but for those that do not there are four planets in retrograde along with the full moon; it has been a dozy of a time for me and many others. I saw the effects of these magical energies even in those who are not spiritually minded. It was pretty wild to see, I understood what was happening and why I was feeling this way but for someone who doesn’t have a clue that had to of been an even rougher ride than what I experienced. I saw people getting angry for no reason, being very touchy ready to explode at any time, and just an overall short fuse. People were frustrated but didn’t know why; feeling like a cold was coming on but one never came. I smile as the observer watching all this happen around me, knowing that everything is working itself out the way it needs to.

Yesterday, the day of the full moon I had woken up with the sudden burst of energy; which was more energy than I had had in weeks. The weather could have also played a part in this since it was our first 80 degrees day this spring but it went deeper than that. Everything I had felt over the past weeks was gone, like it was never there at all. I was seeing clearer than before, filled with energy that didn’t seem to dissipate, the anger that had was once filled me was gone. I was happier, lighter and freer than ever before; I knew the first huge step in my transform was complete. I spent the day cleaning the house with the windows and doors open, to let all the fresh air in. When the evening came I prepared my full moon affirmations and all the things I wanted to release; my husband joined me for my ritual which was a nice treat. We light our white candle burned our sage and completed our ritual, as the paper burned I could feel all the energy being released and all the energy the moon had to offer me in its place. I took some deep breathes after it was completed and the candle had been put out, and it felt wonderful.

I told my husband before bed to not be surprised if he felt different in the morning or continue to release throughout the day today. In the middle of the night around 2 am I woke up hotter than hell. I was sweating bullets, had thrown all my covers off and was just lying there tossing and turning. I was unable to get comfortable or cool down, so I got the feeling something was going on beyond my control. About 25 minutes later I cooled off and fell back asleep, so I believe I had a massive release and that was my body way of letting it all go (which is what I asked for.) Funny how those things tend to work out, hence the saying “be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.” I haven’t talked to my husband yet so I am curious how the moons magic has affected him, if at all.

Today I feel better than ever, I have a sense or “feeling” of knowing that positive things are on their way. That everything I have worked so hard for is now ready to give me the fruits of my labor. The best is yet to come indeed, and it’s closer than ever.

Have a spectacular day everyone! Spread some love & some kindness to yourself & to others.

xoxo

Never give up & Never quit fighting

Today is the first day of spring, or the spring equinox. The energy leading up to today has been exhausting to say the least. I have felt myself releasing; to which I wonder how much can really be left…..apparently a lot. I’ve felt my body, mind and soul upgrading to a new state of being and seeing. Sluggish and tried have been a way of life over the past few days, due to this upgrade. I see so many things changing and evolving within myself and within others. This is such an important time on this beautiful planet. Once we change ourselves inside, is when we can change the outside world.

What we have done to the planet, to our great mother is a disturbing reflection of how we all feel about ourselves. It’s all a reflection of how the majority feels on the inside, refusing to see the beauty that lives within us. Refusing to take care and nurture those innocent, sweet parts of ourselves. Never really satisfied or content with anyone or anything; only wanting things to make us happy and then when we have them no longer wanting them. What I don’t understand is why we think this is okay, why don’t people spend time outside anymore? How is destroying the beauty forests progress? (The world doesn’t need more houses, or more shopping malls.) Are we that ego driven to think that anything we create is more beautiful than anything mother could create? These are the kinds of things I think about. Anyways, more to the point….

Once we began to love the person within us, once we began to nurture, and take care of this beauty is when we will began to take care of our environment. If we take care of ourselves, than we will take care of nature. Everything we do is a reflection ourselves, whether we like to acknowledge that or not.  When the majority steps out of the shadows and into their own light and their own power is when we will see major things changing. (Let me tell you its coming….I can feel it. So many things have changed and been released it’s so clear we are about to step into a whole new period of being and existing) The simple truth is we need a revolution of love. A call to action for each and every one of us to love the beauty and light that is within us. We need to step into our own power and strength. Yes, there are parts of ourselves that we all don’t like to see or face but those are the parts that we need to face the most. It is the key that unlocks a whole new world, a world that has been waiting for you for your entire life. It’s the world of freedom. Free from fear, shame, pride, ego and everything you have wanted to cleanse yourself of.

You can do your part to spread love every day. Walk around with a smile on your face, if you aren’t having the best day think of something that makes you happy and watch a smile appear. It is the simplest of things but can make all the difference to someone. Say “Thank You”, show your gratitude to others. Be kind. When a negative thought comes into your mind, quickly change it to something positive. Slow down and take time to feel the warmth on the sun on your skin, to feel how unimportant all that stress, worry and drama is. Remember what is really important, put things in perspective. These are all things that help make the world a little better each day, positivity spreads like wild fire once started. You never know how many lives you can touch or change by doing these simple things; you may even end up changing your life.

 

Have a spectacular Monday everyone!! It’s a new week; there is no better time to change than the present. Never give up and never quit fighting!

Brake Free from fear

Over the weekend I was talking to my husband about not making back up plans for your back up plans. How you should put everything you have into one thing, funnel everything you have into it. Water it with love and energy and watch it grow. It’s so easy to get scattered, and be all over the place with a million ideas. You must stay focused on one thing at a time, learn the craft, practice, and get better. No one is perfect straight out of the gate; it takes time and a commitment.

Life is all about committing to things; be it a person or something you love. It’s all about getting better, growing and learning. Sometimes having no safety net is the best thing for you; it forces you to put everything you have into making whatever it is. All in, all or nothing, if this doesn’t work then I will figure it out but for now this is all I have. That is how greatness is achieved, that is how you become all that you can be. Pushing yourself beyond what you believe you’re capable of. There was a time I didn’t think I could run for one minute and then over time I ran for ten minutes! I never thought I would be able to do that but I took my time, pushing myself a little each day and I made it there.

Those are the kinds of things we are all capable of, if we only pushed ourselves harder and believed in ourselves 1000%. No doubts, No fear only faith and believing in how capable you truly are. We can do anything we set our minds to; it is only ourselves that hold us back from creating the life we want.

 

Brake FREE, be the CHANGE you wish to see

Dreams that change you

Last night I had the worst and realest dreams of my life. It started with me and my dad doing family research and finding out my great grandmothers old home was up for sale. So we found out where it was and went for a visit, that’s when I realized the house next door was so haunted; I could feel it across the street where we had parked. I don’t believe in good or evil (I believe that “good: and “evil” are terms humans invented to create fear in ourselves, I believe in light and dark) but this was evil, it was the darkest energy I have ever felt in my entire life. I just stood there staring at it, wondering how anyone could ever live there. (This house was too for sale). We return home, and a few days later we find out that there was a mix up and they listed my great grandmothers home wrong. It was listed as a 3 bedroom but it was only a two bedroom. So the couple that bought it ended up buying land but were staying in the house next door until there house was completed.

Somehow my dad found the number to the people who now lived in this haunted home. He dialed the number and talked to the woman who answered my dad said “I cannot help you but maybe my daughter can” and handed me the phone. The lady on the other end was so desperate for help; you could hear it in her voice. She went on to tell me that she would go to the thrift store and buy picture frames and when she’d hang them, pieces of glass would go missing from them; As if someone cut a portion out but left the rest. I asked her if she had a witch shop near her, or a rock shop, normally people there have connections to help you. She said she didn’t, I told her I didn’t know how to help but I may know some people that can. I told her to call this number back in two days and I should have some help for her. I talked to Iris and her friend Pamela for help, they said they could help this woman but she never called back. So I drove them to the house to see if everything was okay. When we got there both cars were in the driveway, when we knocked on the door it opened slightly. We said “hello” a bunch of times and no one answered. So we cautiously walked in, we found a woman in the fetal position crying on the floor. She was in the living room, there was a glass and broken pieces of stuff all over the floor, as if someone was angry and just started throwing stuff. We got her out of the house, we asked where her husband was and she told us he was away on business.

I then asked Iris if she saw something following behind her, she said that she did. It was as if the house was now attached to her and would follow her wherever she went but was also still very much in the home. We took her to a motel, we sage the crap out of her. As soon as we’d light a sage stick it would go up in flames, we ended up using quite a few. I forget what happens next but I see darkness and hear someone scream and wake up crying me eyes out.

The entire time this happened I was conscious of what was going on so I kept saying to myself, white light surrounds me, I am the light because I choose the light. I radiate light; I keep white light around me. As I did this it swirled around me, protecting me. I then said you are not welcome here, return from which you came. I said it over and over again. Each time stronger and with more power until the entire room was filled with light. I woke up crying like I have never cried from a dream before; I woke up my husband to tell him about this dream. I can still see the house as if I had truly been there, I just have no idea where it is. I can still hear this woman’s voice so desperate for help. I haven’t remembered my dreams in weeks and now this, there is a reason.

When I got myself together I saged the room and my husband, dog and myself; I was afraid to go back to sleep because I didn’t want to dream of it again. After I saged and got settled I fell asleep and slept better than I have in weeks. I have pleasant dreams after returning to sleep. So once I woke up I did a quick mediation, which my grandma quickly came to visit me. It was nice to see her; it has been quite some time since I needed her wisdom.  She told me that I cannot save everyone, and that’s okay. It isn’t my job to save the world, I can only save those who you want to be saved and it is up to them to do the work; I can only guide them in the right direction. She also told me that I am on my life path; writing is my gift to help anyone who seeks it. By sharing my stories and experience’s it shows others that they are not alone, and with a positive mind they can get through anything. That the strength and power they seek is within them waiting to be unleashed.

I have been crying on and off all morning with the power of this dream and of the mediation. I am not crying out of fear because I am not afraid, they are tears of gratefulness. I did not expect to feel this way about it but everything happens for a reason. I believed this happened to prepare me for future events that have yet to take place. I also get the feeling that someone close to me may pass away and that no matter what I do I cannot save them because they do not want to be saved. In a way this dream was healing for me, as crazy as that may sound, I am so grateful for this dream and where it has taken me.

In the words of my grandma “Leave the world a little better than how you found it; touch every person that crosses your path, that’s how you change lives.”

 

My absence

Over the past week I have been battling a illness, my sinus have been giving me a hard time. The weather has decided it is no long winter, and that spring should be here. So along with spring comes my allergies to pollen. Anyways, this isn’t what the blog is about today so let’s get it to it.

On Sunday, before I got sick my husband, dog and I went to the state forest to get away for a few hours. The thing I love the most about the forest besides all the tress is when my phone says no service. It’s a kind of liberating feeling to just be for a few hours, with no distractions.

We were walking on a trial right off the road, when we stumbled along an old P.O.W. Camp that had once been there. So we started to walk around the camp. It was fascinating to see all the buildings they had built, the aqueducts they had built to supply water to the camp, and overall just how large the camp was. The first side of the camp we encountered was not “bad” or giving off any negative energies that I could feel. It’s hard to say what these buildings were since only the foundations remain. As we kept walking I felt compelled to walk a certain direction, so I follow it and let it guide me. We ended up in a part of the camp that I did not like at all. As we were walking, I told my husband that I felt different, I felt anxiety and a heavy sadness. He then told me that I was in a building, which I hadn’t noticed. I kept waking, down this trail where there seemed to be nothing, but I knew something was at the end of it. As I walked down this trail, I began to feel like a officer in the military. I had on a green coat, it was long, down to my mid calf, I had a green hat with golden metals or some sort of engraving on the front. I had brown boots, tall brown boots. I had brown hair, and a brown mustache, I had brown gloves in my hand. As I walked I looked down at the ground, I knew what had to be done but I felt remorse and guilt for it. Then I came to the end of the path, there was the remains of a building. I hated this building, I believe some very horrific things happened in this place. It was a prime location for it, a mile away from any of the other buildings in the camp. Surrounded by nothing, no one to hear your screams. I quickly left this location, and walked back down the path as I did so this time, I felt as if two men were carrying me, one under each of my arms. I felt like I was bloody, beaten and almost on the edge of death. I quickly release what was not mine, and told the spirits they could not come home with they. That they must remain where they are meant to be.

As we walked away further and further from this location, we came to the entrance of the camp, were to the right a building used to be. I walked into the building, it felt like an administrative building, where people would be admitted into the camp. Behind where the building used to be was a ton oak trees, one of these trees called out to me so I walked over to it. I touched the tree, said “hello” and asked to exchange energy with him. I say him because oak trees are more masculine to me than other trees. He gave me his energy, and it began to ground me. I lost track of him, getting lost in how amazing this energy felt. I came back to reality and thanked the tree for what he had given me, and removed my hand. I felt high, and grounded; I could feel the bottoms of my feet connected deeply within our great mother. It was amazing to be that in a place riddled with darkness, that there would be a tree that was beautiful and light; that was never affected by this darkness. I have made a tree friend, and I will be visiting him again.

If you have never made a tree friend, I would suggest you try sometime. Trees hold much wisdom and knowledge. Humans could learn a lot from trees, they stand strong and firm where they are, they show us death is beautiful, and how important it is to have roots.

Next time I go, I will try to remember to bring my camera so I can take pictures for everyone to see.

Feeling the full moon

Over the past week or so, I have felt so out of sorts. I feel like a have a cold coming on; I am physically tired, just drained, completely. At night I get so hot that I wake up, throw the covers off and just lay there; then eventually I get cold and have to throw the covers back on. This has been my struggle since the full moon.

From the people I have talked to that have been experiencing the same thing, have said that is it our human bodies upgrading and releasing old ways of being. This makes total sense to me since I have been actively working to rid myself of old patterns and ways of being that no long resonate with me. Basically anything that does not align with my highest potential of being, I want to get rid of. I have been more aware and more awake than ever before. My body just has to get used to this new way of being, and the higher vibration that comes with it. Now more than ever staying grounded is so important. Walks in nature are my favorite way to achieve this, but I also use stones and mediation to help me.

I have changed so much already, and I’m looking forward to more growth and evolving. The growth within me resonates to all my other relationships. Seeing them differently, taking a different approach to things, and helping others see what they need to change within themselves. Everything is different now, and I embrace it; I would never want things to go back to how they used to be. I love this new me too much.

Stay strong in this time, take the time to rest and recharge. Be aware of the things that are coming up, thank them, and look deeper into them. Why are they coming up? What triggered this, and why? What is in with you that you need to see? This is how growth happens, it can be painful but it is all a part of the experience. The benefits you receive from doing the work, far exceed any amount of pain.

Namaste

 

P.s- I have updated my website; I am now offering tarot readings for anyone who is interested.

Path to healing

Over the past few days I have become increasingly aware of the next step I need to take in my spiritual journey. I knew I wanted to rid myself of old thinking patterns that no longer work for me. Old belief systems that are old and worn out, and that I no longer believe to be true. Basically, getting rid of everything that no longer resonates with me. I need to find myself again, and re align with my highest potential. I knew that in knowing all of this I was on the right path, I just didn’t know how to accomplish the task. So I took to the spiritual group I am in, they are like family to me. I knew that they would understand and give me guidance and advice. Many people commented with their advice but out of all of them, only one resonated with me. She wrote, “You may need to forgive your parents as a child. I am going through the same thing, and that is what I have begun to do.” It’s like a lightbulb went off, that is exactly what I needed to do; I just knew it. I read a couple articles on this topic, and as I read it became clearer and clearer that my inner child was screaming out to me for help.

I went on YouTube to see if they had any meditation videos on this topic, and sure enough they did. I got comfortable, and begun to relax for a few minutes. Once I got settled, I started the video, took some deep breathes and relaxed further. As the mediation progressed I came to this place were all my memories of my childhood, that are linked to her pain, are all stored. I could see all these little clouds of memories, I could hear the echoes of them all around me. Until one of them stood out the most, I don’t know why this one stood out the most. Perhaps because it the newest wound, or it’s the most vivid in my mind. Whatever the reason, I entered this memory. Everything was as I remembered it expect for one part. Instead of me being an adult, I was a child. This is how I see myself when I mediate, when I dream, and when I go to my happy place. I am always a little blonde haired girl, with a white cotton dress, and no shoes. It was at this point that I realized, this is how I still see myself. I still see myself as this little girl that is broken, hurt, and sad. A little girl who just wants to be enough, accepted, and loved. So many people tell me they love me but very few actually show it. As someone who runs off emotions, I want to feel your love, anyone can say it but not everyone can make you feel it.

So here I am in this memory, with myself, I take her hand and tell her “You don’t need to be sad anymore, I am here to protect you and keep you safe. The people that inflected pain upon you shows more about them than you. There is nothing wrong with you, and you no longer need to feel that there is.” I asked her what she needs to do to heal, “I need to forgive everyone that has hurt me. You have forgiven them but I haven’t. I need to, it is time” she replied. I then tell her “You had no control over the situation, there is nothing that you could’ve done.” With a tear running down her cheek, she smiles and says “I know.” “We have control our life now, we choose what happens to us. Which is why we must forgive our parents, we cannot allow them to have control over us any longer.” She then whispers something to me, which I do not remember. I then come out of the mediation and fall right asleep.

Upon waking, I still feel some lingering sadness, which I will feel as deeply as I know how to. I may even have a beautiful release of tears. This pain was created by tears so it only seems fitting that I release it the same way.

Remember we are never really done growing and evolving, we all have traumas and pain we carry with us. Be gentle to one another, spread love, be kind, and smile. There is much beauty to be found in all of us