Love

I recently came across an article that talked about having three loves in a lifetime. I had never thought of love in that way, we all love but I never thought of how different each love is for us. I know that I loved many times in my life but looking at it now, I’ve loved in very different ways. There haven’t been many times in my life that I can say I was truly and completely in love. Often times the lines of love and lust got blurred. In my experience I have found that lust can never last the test of time, the foundation it is built upon is fragile and weak. It is only meant to be a short story in our lives, however I will admit that there have times when I knew it wasn’t right but stayed in it anyways, mistaking it for love, only seeing what I wanted to see was always my greatest weakness. So many of us want to be loved so badly by another, to receive what we have always desired yet we look for it in the wrong people. We are told that love is all about fireworks and butterflies but is it? I have had these feelings before and they haven’t stood the test of time.

This is how my first love began and ended. The story of my first love was one of unfulfillment, pain and struggle. He was my knight in shining armor, the one who scooped me up and rescued me from a life that I hated. It was the whole fairy tale image, it looked good on the outside but being in it was nothing like the fairy tales I had read as a child. It’s the love I stayed in because it mattered more to me that we looked happy than actually being happy. I didn’t love myself enough to say this is not what love is because I didn’t know what love was, I only had an idea of what it should be. I was young and naive, I thought that time was something that mattered in love and that with time would only bring  more love. Even if had never existed in the first place.

Then there was my second love, the one I wanted to be right. The one I wanted it to work with so badly that I forced it for as long as I could. It’s the one that had exceptional highs and the lowest of lows. I fought so hard for this love, it’s the one I didn’t want to let go of. It’s the love I felt deeper than the one before it, the one I felt a connection with, the one I thought would last a lifetime. At first this love felt perfect, I was all in from the beginning but somewhere along the way our paths begin to separate. This love allowed me the time to find myself, who I was and what I wanted. This love had given me the soul growth I needed, and it’s because of this I could see how love would change me. Perhaps that is why I held on for so long even though this love had fallen short of my expectations.

This is the love that I believe most of us stay in because we think it couldn’t be any better than this, or maybe we get hooked on the excitement of the high and attached to the pain of the low, knowing the roller-coaster ride will continue on a never ending loop. We become comfortable on this ride, knowing what is ahead. There is no unknown in this love, and for some of us that is okay. I am not one of them. I crave the unknown, I long for excitement in love, and I desire a love so strong that nothing can break it. A love so profound that it grows deeper with each breath I take, with every kiss and with each look into my lovers eyes. This is what I have found in my third love.

It’s a love that has broken every preconceived notion I had about love.  It came in unexpectedly, seemingly out of nowhere, with a man I never saw coming. This love has captured my soul in such a deep and profound way that I find myself amazed everyday by it. I am forever changed by the love I feel and the love I am given. It has allowed me to see myself in such a way of raw truth and honesty that I desire to be the highest, best version of myself.  There is no stormy weather, it’s a place of peacefulness, calmness and authenticity that I never thought love could be. I am accepted exactly as I am in all of my imperfections and with all of my broken pieces. I know see that I had to find out what I thought was love in order to find what love is.

This is the love I wish all of us find in our lifetime. We all deserve this kind of love and it is possible for each of us to attain it. When we make the hard choices for the right reasons, we are always rewarded. Even if the path looks dark, is unknown and you are completely lost, keep moving forward that is how life changing events are created. When we lean on our faith, when we use it as a tool of hope and inspiration we will always be shown the way, we just have to listen. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone, love doesn’t care about time. There is no achievement award for love, especially for those that have stayed in a partnership that died long ago. Love shows up when it’s ready for you, it comes in when you least expect it and in a person you think it could never work with. Allow love, allow your faith to lead the way; when we do this anything is possible.

 

Intense Energy

There has been such intense energy lately, along with solar flares and the Schuman literally going off the charts. It has left me feeling out of sorts, along with many physical symptoms. So many things has sifted since the new moon, on the 9th. I am seeing so many endings all around me, not only in my life but everywhere. There are so many old timelines collapsing, so much of the past is dissolving away or at least coming up so that it can be dissolved.

In my own life I have reached the ending of chapter, and the beginning of a new one. A lot of old childhood traumas have been coming to the surface for me recently. I have just had this out pouring of emotions, some of which come from a deep rooted place. I am happy to let go of the past and embrace the promises of a new tomorrow. I know many of us, like myself, are fed up with everything that has been going on. We are ready and willing to change so that we can find the happiness we desire.

I feel that we are nearing the end of this cycle in our journey, we are in a way dying. Our old selves in its entirety is dying, it’s all being burned away. We don’t need the past anymore, that’s why it’s coming up so strongly to be let go of. We need to die so that we can be reborn, just as the phoenix does. We can be reborn from the ashes of the past, as a better version of ourselves. A version that aligns with our soul’s mission, and our highest, greatest good.

I know that things are confusing right now, and you may even feel lost (I know I do) but remember why your here. Remember that you have to go through this so that you can receive everything you’ve asked for. There is no easy way to change, and it is never comfortable but it is necessary. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Stay focused, find happiness in your day to day, be grateful and keep moving forward. It’s all about to open up for you.

 

Blessings,

Xo Faye

With darkness comes light

August has arrived, how is everyone feeling?? It got a little rough (& dark) there for a little while, didn’t it? Feels good to be rebooting back into myself again. How was this transformational period for everyone? A lot of stuff came up didn’t it; talk about rebirth!

The full moon & lunar eclipse (along with planets going retrograde, solar storms & everything else) left me exhausted and drained, in a way I haven’t experienced for quite some time. I saw (& am still seeing) synchronicities around me. In the way of animals (mostly birds, as I am in bird medicine currently), numbers, & things just aligning perfectly. I was having a huge issue with stagnant energy in my sacral (stomach). Then here comes moon goddess and says “I’ll help you with that!” I even had dreams of a boyfriend I had when I was 18. Spirit, universe and the moon all wanted to be sure that I got the message (they know it takes me awhile sometimes), and I totally did. Actually it was more like this total epiphany, & awakening unlocking everything for me. Looping themes & boundaries, were two HUGE topics for me.

I began my work with serpent energy, as she symbolizes rebirth, she helped me get energy flowing again. As soon as it started to flow I was a releasing queen. Things were coming up left & right to be let go of, released and detached from. I haven’t been in that victim state of mind in a while but there it was a part of myself still felt that way, so I got rid of all of it. I do not need the past (or baggage) to define me or who I am. Like many things the easiest stuff always goes quickly then you get to the real stuff. When you hit a certain level of depth within yourself & you had no idea that stuff was even there, that’s the challenge. That’s the test from the universe to see if you’re really wanting change as much as you say you do. I believe the universe & spirit to be a no nonsense kind of force, you either are willing to work for it or you’re not.  She is all about action, and putting the work in.

I went to depths I didn’t even know existed within me. I felt it too, my physical body was done. I took naps, which I never do, just because my body needed it. I had a list full of things I wanted to accomplish but none of it got done; it was okay though I needed the rest. It felt like my light body was advancing at such an accelerated speed that my physical body couldn’t keep up. I took the time I needed, that is such an important thing to do. When your body tells you, “Hey, I need a brake” then listen. It is okay to rest momentarily & pick everything up later. I went into my sacred space & spent a lot of time there. I withdrew from society for a little while because I needed too. For me, I cannot be social while still going deep into myself; I’t just doesn’t work for me. I spent a lot of time in nature, it called out to me. There was one day where every time I’d come home I’d be called right back outside again. I needed the love from mother, I needed her support.

And here we are now, its August & there is a magic in the air. I find myself taking the first steps into my new life & my new ways of being. I have set boundaries with myself & stand powerfully in them. I even stood up to my mother & didn’t feel bad about it (which has been a huge looping theme for me). I am in my power, & if I’m being honest, it feels amazing. I have been so proud of myself to tell the world what I will & will not accept. It’s a truly empowering feeling all on its own & once you start, you’ll only want more. I see myself spiraling out of the orbit of my old self, none of that serves me anymore. I have really just come to a place where I am sick of the reruns, the same crap that plays over & over again. I am just over it & am moving forward.  I am ready to receive everything that I have been working hard to manifest.

I am ready to walk into my new life. I am ready for everything I always knew was waiting for me. I am ready to shine, inspire & to create. I am ready for happiness, joy & love. I am ready for it all. I am ready to leave the old me behind & walk with strength, courage & love into a new chapter.

I want you to know that you can change your life, you are the master & creator of your destiny. A happy life always starts with a grateful heart. Everything you’ve ever wanted is out there waiting for you, go get it!

 

Blessings,

Xo Faye

Moon Transformation

The new moon is quickly approaching once again, so I like to take this time to reflect on the previous moon cycle.

The past moon cycle brought intense energies, and huge transformations. Since the past full moon I have felt like a snake in mid shed; eyes milky white, completely vulnerable and unable to see. Feeling the pull from many different directions at once, and my head filled with confusion and utter chaos. I had done my full moon ritual, and had felt with full intensity the power of the moon in her full power. Her power was so transformative that it left me reeling for several days; I had even lost my voice for three days.

I knew that everything I had asked for was being manifested, I just needed to clear myself of out dated clutter and obstacles within. I truly believe that losing my voice was exactly what I needed. It allowed me to go inward, to quiet the noise that was beginning to get so loud. Even though it was only three days, it was all I needed. It’s amazing how quickly we can manifest now. It’s so beautiful. Typically, it would take me a few weeks or months to clear but now it’s almost as quick as a snap of a finger.

Now I am left feeling renewed, and recharged. Head clear, and I know what it is I am meant to do. I am simply awaiting signs from the universe to know when to start; a spiritual green light. I am at ease, gentle, and more awake than ever. I understand the power of being in the present, and I am thankful for the moments that are given. I have complete faith in the universe, and great spirit. The universe has heard what I wish to manifest. The universe has seen the work I’ve put into them and is working behind the scenes to make them a reality. The universe wants you to have what you want, after all. That’s why it’s so important to keep your thoughts positive.

Looking back at the past moon cycle and all that I have finally let go of, makes me look forward to the new moon that is upon us and all that the universe, great spirit and our great mother has in store for me…and all of us!! So much beauty lies ahead….just wait and see.

How did the past moon cycle help you on your journey!?

Blessings,

Xo Faye

Honor The Call

I haven’t written in a while because I really (If Im being honest) haven’t felt the need to; but today is different. Today I feel I have the call, so I must answer.

Over the past few months my emotions have been a roller coaster ride, as so much of the collective is rising to be transmuted. Last month was the month of grieving for me, did you feel it too? It’s not that I was depressed, and no one had passed away but it was something that I just needed to do. I have lost so much in my life, even though I have gained so much from those losses, it seemed I have never grieved them. Understanding this came as a surprise to me, I always celebrated the lessons I had learned from each experience but how could I of been so blind to not fully feel what got me there.

It’s quite incredible when you take time to reflect on how far you’ve come. Taking some time for myself, I felt everything fully & completely; I allowed my tears to flow freely. I felt grief from things I thought I had let go of, years ago. It is always such a beautiful experience when you simple are, and this was no exception.

Currently, I have been feeling heavy sadness in the collective, and in my soul family. We all have a little piece that is ours, though some take on a little more to lighten the load for another. We are all working together to transmute this sadness, so that more light and love can make it way to all of us. By doing your work, you not only helping yourself but you help those connected to you. This is currently where I’m at, doing my work so that more love makes its way in (that is what life is all about after all). We all have a place to fill, and work to do & by listening when spirit calls you’re doing so much for the world, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Any act of healing and letting go, no matter how small makes an impact.

We are the children of our great mother. As we heal ourselves, we heal her. As we connect to her, we connect to ourselves. As we feel her love, we know we can never be without. As we honor her, we honor ourselves. Mother gives us all that we need, but what do we give her in return?

That is what I was leave you with, a thought provoking question.

 

Blessings,

Xo Faye

 

Whats the difference? Selfless, Selfish & Putting yourself first.

Most people believe that putting yourself first is being selfish but is it? We all know that being selfless can be just as unhealthy as being selfish, but where is the line? What does it all mean, and where does each end and begin? This is what spirit has told me, and what I have come to understand….

Most of us are so busy taking care of others, our homes, running errands, and working crazy hours that we are often left forgotten. Then there are some who put their desires above all else, with no regard for anyone else. They are only happy, or act when it serves them. Do you see the problem with both of these things? Everyone you encounter leaves being unfulfilled. The energy exchange doesn’t benefit either party.

When you give, give, give without first giving to yourself, your left empty and depleted. How can you give to another if you first do not give to yourself? How can you give anything, when you have nothing left to give? A similar thing can be said for someone who always takes and never gives. Only looking out for yourself, can lead to sadness and unhappiness…even depression. As most of the time you end up alone.

The world is filled with people who give, receive, and those that do both. Those that are selfless give too much, and receive nothing. Those who are selfish, take too much, and do not give. Then there are those who put themselves first, and both give and receive. Do you see the difference?

Someone who has put themselves first, knows that it is important to both give and receive. They know that by taking a few minutes each day for time for themselves, they refill themselves and in return can give more to others. They know that it is important to make yourself happy and put your needs first but still respect the feelings of others. They have found a balance of taking only what they can give back.

I believe that being self-aware is a huge part of putting yourself first. Knowing your boundaries, and sticking to them. Knowing what you will and will not tolerate. Self-care is the best gift we can give ourselves, nobody else is going to take care of you the way you can.

You are your greatest love. Be your own soulmate. Know who you are, and what you want. Step into your power. Find balance & harmony. Heal. Let go & move forward.

Learn to both give and receive, and watch things begin to transform. You are a choice away from a new way of being & living.

Is it time to change, the choice is yours….

 

Blessings,

Xo Faye

Disconnect to Connect

The theme I keep seeing arising within myself, and the ones close to me is disconnect to connect. Wanting to be more detached from social media, television, and not be so dependent on a cell phone. To reconnect with the things that makes life worth living. Building real face to face relationships with people we care about, making plans and sticking to them, taking the time to visit a loved one for no reason expect to see how they are. To connect to the things we have lost sight of, the things are parents and grandparents were raised on. Principles, morals and values.

Personally my usage of social media has declines dramatically over the past several months. I started to see what it was, and had done to me. I would be in this amazing space, surrounded by all this light and love from the universe and our beautiful mother; I’d get on Facebook and I could feel it all get sucked away almost instantly. Leaving me feeling icky, and just not in the same way I had come in. Facebook can be a great platform for many beings coming together to share, and spread light and love but most of the time (at least by what I see) it is just another way for hatred and negativity to grow stronger. It is draining, and exhausting so I decided to take it out of my life. If it isn’t serving my highest potential, than I don’t need it.

I do still have a Facebook account, (I kept it for the spiritual group that I am apart of) but now I only check it once a month to see whats in my notifications and move on quickly. It has been quite freeing actually, which isn’t what I expected to get out of this. I no longer feel the need to post or share every aspect of my life with the world. My options are mine, and if I believe that sharing them will help make a difference than I will, otherwise I will keep them to myself. The moments I share on vacations and the photos I take should be kept private, they are beautiful moments that should only be shared with those you love; not posting them to see how many “likes” you get. Remember the days when friends or family would have to come over to see the photos of your wedding, vacation or of your new born child. You’d have coffee or a cup of tea and share stories, making it this whole experience; yes, that is what I want to get back too. That is what we should all get back to, actually enjoying the human experience. Step away from idolizing “famous” people and discussing how you think someone’s new look is this or that, it really makes no difference what you think about them; what matters is how you feel about yourself.

There is many things wrong with the way we live, and the way we have become but we cannot focus solely on that. We must focus on the love that is around us and within us. We must focus on the light that radiates throughout the planet; in all the animals, and in all the plants. We must come together for a common cause if we want change. It brings tears to my eyes to watch so many stand up for what they believe is right, such beauty and power in that.

Take the time to evaluate what excels your growth and your light, and what dims it. Don’t be afraid to let go, or to love from a far, you have to do what is best for yourself before you can help anyone else.

 

Bless it be.

Faye

Tides of change…

For the past few weeks, I have felt changed. I have felt it so much that it has been all I have written about. So many things are not as they used to be, and I have learned so much from this. With the 11:11 gateway that was just a few days ago, and the new moon coming this Saturday the energies of newness are in full force.

Among all the lessons I have learned through this time of transformation one stands out among the rest. So often we get caught up in the destination that we do not enjoy the journey. We ask so many questions of where we will be, that we forget to simply allow things to play out. The outcome isn’t all that important, the whole point of the journey is to learn, grow and evolve. Which we cannot do if we are forcing knowing and understanding. Some things, especially in the spiritual sense, do not make sense. They are not meant to, it is our minds that need this understanding, this logical proof. Spirit is not interested in that of the mind, only in the evolution of the soul. The soul knows exactly what it needs, and if you listen you’ll know what that is.

It’s so funny, even though I am aware of this I still ask questions. I still remain curious about what beautiful things are waiting for me. I am only human but I suppose the difference is I am simply curious where things stand in the present moment; as things always change. When we stop asking questions, and listen to ourselves this is when we will find all the answers we seek. Trusting in our intuition, and following what it tells us. It is often the hardest things to trust, because the mind, the ego, says otherwise.

As for me personally, I am not the same person I was and for that I am grateful; but with this change comes many other emotions. This is not where I thought I’d end up, I did not think that I would be starting my life over. All the grand illusions I once had, have washed away with the tide. What remains are the simple desires of life; being happy, fulfilled, love, and living life. I have never been one to want a huge house on the hills, with all these material things. I have always wanted simplicity, but now I want even less. I have let go of so much of the past and old patterns of being that I see now what I truly need; and it is not much.

I see fully what is holding me back, and what I need to do but damn, if that isn’t a big leap. I will undoubtedly do what needs to be done, even if it may be the hardest things I have had to do. I have been in this place before and I will always put myself first. I am the only one who can create the life I wish to have so I have no problems chasing after all that I desire.

I love all of you, I wish all of you the best in this journey. Remember to make your new moon intentions Saturday. This will be the best time to bring anything new into your life. ❤

 

xoxo

Faye

Excerpt from my journal….

The full moon was last night and it was raining, so I did my full moon ritual in the garage facing east. Releasing with the moon was a highly energetic and beautiful experience.

This morning when I awoke I found myself refreshed, renewed and still. I know that I have a decision to make, I have many actually. I need time to be still, to reflect and to simply be. I have asked for all of this. So it is time to be honest and truth with myself; to listen to my heart and to my soul.

The time of change and re-birth are upon us, and it has been for quite some time. With this season of transformation it brings with it a certain beauty. For myself, I felt the breeze dancing across my face, calling me to invite it in, and I’ve don’t just that. I needed to be cleansed, and in many ways I needed to die; for without death I could have never emerged this beautiful human; whose reflection is looking back at me.

Most fear death because they do not see the beauty that lies within it. That is the way of ego; blinded by fear rather than being liberated by it. I know my transformation has begun, and I have embrace it. I have seen first-hand the beauty that lies within my darkness. This full moon I have asked for many things to be released but the most important is that I have ask to release from subconscious blockages. The things we aren’t even aware of, this is what hinders me the most. Acting in old patterns and ways of being that no longer serve me.

This is my time to love myself, to give myself the love and light that I shine to others. This journey is still in its infancy but it has transformed my views, and my life in such a beautiful way. I understand now that you must be kind and gentle with yourself; forgive yourself when things go wrong (which they will) and celebrate when they go right (which they will). Life is hard enough, we don’t need to make it more difficult by being hard on ourselves.

Social media has lost my interest over the past few days. I work rather hard on staying in this place of stillness and peacefulness and every time I get on social media it is ripped away from me (and rather quickly I might add). So I may be taking a well-earned break from all the non-sense of social media for a while. It may be just another step in my evolution.

Seeing my future, feeling it, living it in my dreams has made this process even more the learning experience. Connecting with other souls that reside in the same light as I, has changed my life. These souls (of which most I have not met in the physical) have taught me and shown me so much about myself and my life; all the things I desire to have all that which I chose not to have. Life is such a precious gift that should be lived, experienced and enjoyed (without mindless distractions).

I have learned so much this year, and there is more to go. I have been awoken to this new sense of awareness and gratitude.  My mind is clear, and my heart is open. I no longer need love from another (but remain open and ready when it does find its way to me), because I have found it for myself. I have been listening and trusting myself more and now watch miracles manifest right in front of my eyes.

This life is too beautiful of a gift to waste even a second of it. Be happy, shine your light. Care about yourself more and others less This is your life take the wheel.

 

The winds of change are blowing, can you feel them!?

xoxo

-Faye

Society tells us how to feel…..

The world we live in tells us how we are supposed to act, and how we are supposed to be; and when we don’t act that way we are harshly judge and criticized.  But why do we put standards and rules on the way we feel? Everyone is different and not everything that happens to us is the worst day or the best day of our lives and that’s okay. We are not perfect, we are human. We are meant to learn, grow and evolve from the emotions that we feel. I know that television and magazines show us how we are supposed to be flawless but that too is a lie.

When we find what others perceive has happiness (even though we don’t feel it/ or even if we do) we are supposed to be happy. I have seen in my own life, as well as the lives of countless others that “the show” / or the projection that we show the world is all that matters. We are told to “fake it” and how unfair is that to ourselves. Think of the growth and learning we are disabling within ourselves when we ignore those beautiful feelings. Yes, even the more undesirable feelings are beautiful. Those are the ones that teach us the most; even if their lessons are often painful and cruel.

When we do find happiness but then it fades away; we are told that we must stick around. That we won’t find anyone that loves you as much as they do. Well that is a complete lie, if you rid your life of those relationships that are no longer serving you then you are only making room for bigger, better things. We are told when someone passes away you should be sad; sometimes a person transitioning isn’t an awful, sad thing.

We’re told that getting divorced is the something that should make us fall into this deep sadness and loneliness; and if you are happy and feel a sense of release and freedom you clearly “never loved them at all”. People are quick to judge rather than take the time to understand; but I have found that some would rather stay in the comfortability of misery than spread their wings and fly. That’s okay that is their choice. We just do not have to project that onto others.

That if you get married more than once you’re told “you don’t understand what marriage is” like you have defiled it in some way; but I prefer to think those that marry more than once are a lover of love. They fall quickly, and deeply in love believing without a doubt that this is right; just because it doesn’t work out doesn’t make them awful people, it makes them human. Things happens, soul contracts end and begin all the time. It is okay. We have to be gentle with ourselves, be kind to ourselves, forgive ourselves but most importantly we have to love ourselves. Since everything begins and ends with us; we cultivate our own reality. We are the captain, and the key holder to whatever torture we put ourselves through. Value others options less, and yours more. Follow your heart, let it guide you and learn from what you experaince.

We all do things for ourselves all time, often without even noticing. We make our own choices, choose to make them out of love and not fear. Stay in a positive mind set as best as you can, it will do more for you than you even know. Life is hard, it’s cruel and sometimes it’s downright lonely but that’s all okay. Remember the only thing permeate in this world, is that nothing is. So enjoy the time in the darkness, it’s where you grow. Enjoy your time in the light, it’s where you shine. Enjoy the love in your life, and all the beauty that surrounds you. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and lived. Be present and don’t care what others say, the only person you have to live with is yourself.

 

Xo

-Faye