Excerpt from my journal….

The full moon was last night and it was raining, so I did my full moon ritual in the garage facing east. Releasing with the moon was a highly energetic and beautiful experience.

This morning when I awoke I found myself refreshed, renewed and still. I know that I have a decision to make, I have many actually. I need time to be still, to reflect and to simply be. I have asked for all of this. So it is time to be honest and truth with myself; to listen to my heart and to my soul.

The time of change and re-birth are upon us, and it has been for quite some time. With this season of transformation it brings with it a certain beauty. For myself, I felt the breeze dancing across my face, calling me to invite it in, and I’ve don’t just that. I needed to be cleansed, and in many ways I needed to die; for without death I could have never emerged this beautiful human; whose reflection is looking back at me.

Most fear death because they do not see the beauty that lies within it. That is the way of ego; blinded by fear rather than being liberated by it. I know my transformation has begun, and I have embrace it. I have seen first-hand the beauty that lies within my darkness. This full moon I have asked for many things to be released but the most important is that I have ask to release from subconscious blockages. The things we aren’t even aware of, this is what hinders me the most. Acting in old patterns and ways of being that no longer serve me.

This is my time to love myself, to give myself the love and light that I shine to others. This journey is still in its infancy but it has transformed my views, and my life in such a beautiful way. I understand now that you must be kind and gentle with yourself; forgive yourself when things go wrong (which they will) and celebrate when they go right (which they will). Life is hard enough, we don’t need to make it more difficult by being hard on ourselves.

Social media has lost my interest over the past few days. I work rather hard on staying in this place of stillness and peacefulness and every time I get on social media it is ripped away from me (and rather quickly I might add). So I may be taking a well-earned break from all the non-sense of social media for a while. It may be just another step in my evolution.

Seeing my future, feeling it, living it in my dreams has made this process even more the learning experience. Connecting with other souls that reside in the same light as I, has changed my life. These souls (of which most I have not met in the physical) have taught me and shown me so much about myself and my life; all the things I desire to have all that which I chose not to have. Life is such a precious gift that should be lived, experienced and enjoyed (without mindless distractions).

I have learned so much this year, and there is more to go. I have been awoken to this new sense of awareness and gratitude.  My mind is clear, and my heart is open. I no longer need love from another (but remain open and ready when it does find its way to me), because I have found it for myself. I have been listening and trusting myself more and now watch miracles manifest right in front of my eyes.

This life is too beautiful of a gift to waste even a second of it. Be happy, shine your light. Care about yourself more and others less This is your life take the wheel.

 

The winds of change are blowing, can you feel them!?

xoxo

-Faye

Society tells us how to feel…..

The world we live in tells us how we are supposed to act, and how we are supposed to be; and when we don’t act that way we are harshly judge and criticized.  But why do we put standards and rules on the way we feel? Everyone is different and not everything that happens to us is the worst day or the best day of our lives and that’s okay. We are not perfect, we are human. We are meant to learn, grow and evolve from the emotions that we feel. I know that television and magazines show us how we are supposed to be flawless but that too is a lie.

When we find what others perceive has happiness (even though we don’t feel it/ or even if we do) we are supposed to be happy. I have seen in my own life, as well as the lives of countless others that “the show” / or the projection that we show the world is all that matters. We are told to “fake it” and how unfair is that to ourselves. Think of the growth and learning we are disabling within ourselves when we ignore those beautiful feelings. Yes, even the more undesirable feelings are beautiful. Those are the ones that teach us the most; even if their lessons are often painful and cruel.

When we do find happiness but then it fades away; we are told that we must stick around. That we won’t find anyone that loves you as much as they do. Well that is a complete lie, if you rid your life of those relationships that are no longer serving you then you are only making room for bigger, better things. We are told when someone passes away you should be sad; sometimes a person transitioning isn’t an awful, sad thing.

We’re told that getting divorced is the something that should make us fall into this deep sadness and loneliness; and if you are happy and feel a sense of release and freedom you clearly “never loved them at all”. People are quick to judge rather than take the time to understand; but I have found that some would rather stay in the comfortability of misery than spread their wings and fly. That’s okay that is their choice. We just do not have to project that onto others.

That if you get married more than once you’re told “you don’t understand what marriage is” like you have defiled it in some way; but I prefer to think those that marry more than once are a lover of love. They fall quickly, and deeply in love believing without a doubt that this is right; just because it doesn’t work out doesn’t make them awful people, it makes them human. Things happens, soul contracts end and begin all the time. It is okay. We have to be gentle with ourselves, be kind to ourselves, forgive ourselves but most importantly we have to love ourselves. Since everything begins and ends with us; we cultivate our own reality. We are the captain, and the key holder to whatever torture we put ourselves through. Value others options less, and yours more. Follow your heart, let it guide you and learn from what you experaince.

We all do things for ourselves all time, often without even noticing. We make our own choices, choose to make them out of love and not fear. Stay in a positive mind set as best as you can, it will do more for you than you even know. Life is hard, it’s cruel and sometimes it’s downright lonely but that’s all okay. Remember the only thing permeate in this world, is that nothing is. So enjoy the time in the darkness, it’s where you grow. Enjoy your time in the light, it’s where you shine. Enjoy the love in your life, and all the beauty that surrounds you. Life is meant to be enjoyed, and lived. Be present and don’t care what others say, the only person you have to live with is yourself.

 

Xo

-Faye

Upgrades…

Today I woke up feelings at ease, peaceful and still; like this wave of silence washed over me while I was asleep.  I feel renewed in a way that seems familiar; yet is unknown to me. Perhaps this is what it is like to find bliss on earth, or perhaps I am simply aligning with the path set out for me. Either way this is a feeling that I am truly grateful for; as I know it won’t last forever.

Before I went to sleep last night I asked the universe, angels, spirit guides, basically everyone to help me release from my ways of the past. To move past fears I am unaware of, and anything that is holding me back from aligning with my true self. I know that my prayers have been answered, simply by the way I feel. So thank you everyone for helping me in ways I was unable to help myself. That’s the thing with free will, we have a whole bunch of people waiting to help us if we only asked for it.

I feel all the beautiful things waiting for me, and I am not allowing myself to get in my own way anymore, or to block out all the things I wish to bring into my life. I am open and ready. I will give and I will receive. Balance and patience. Trusting that all will work out, in divine timing the way it is meant too. Gratitude is such a powerful tool that we can use in manifesting our dreams and desires; if only we realized it. Being grateful for the wonderful things and the not so wonderful is such an important part of life; and living a life of love.

Everything happens to us for reasons we don’t yet know. Think about it, if you had not left that broken relationship than you may have never met the person you’re with now. The universe has a plan for all us; and yes, it is not all kittens and rainbows but it isn’t meant to be. We need those tough times, those times of darkness are there to teach us the lessons we must learn. There are no lessons in the time of light, that is only were you arrive to celebrate your victory.

The key to feel whatever you’re feeling is to learn from it and then let it go. You are not the darkness that you are feeling. It is only a stepping stone on the way to enlightenment. Take the time and do the work. Take care of yourself, give yourself the love and attention you so freely give to everyone else.  Life is meant to be enjoyed, loved, and lived. So be present, enjoy what you enjoy with the people who make you feel wonderful. Your body or your heart will never steer you wrong; listen to what your body is telling you.

The full moon is coming up next Saturday, I know I am ready to cut the cords of the past and enter into a new chapter, a new beginning of my life.

Here’s to love, happiness, fulfillment, and peace!

 

Have a beautiful day everyone!

 

Xo

 

Faye

Beautifully Broken

It seems lately it is one thing after another in terms of spiritual awakening, growth, and releasing. The universe has demanded so much from us and our bodies over the past few months. There are so many waking up from a long nap, so much darkness that is coming to the surface to be eradicated by the light.

I don’t watch television much so I am always out of the loop with pop culture and what is going on in the world; but the one thing that has managed to be unavoidable is all the things going on in Hollywood. The mistreatment of woman is truly a larger issue than I guess many recognized. It is so easy to stay blind to the ugliness of the world. To see all of these woman coming forward with their stories of abuse and neglect is beautifully heartbreaking.  It’s brave to see these woman stepping out of the shadows and taking a stand but it is so tragic that any of this had to happen in the first place. As someone who has been through this type of abuse, I applaud every woman who has told her story (anonymously or not it doesn’t matter).  It takes a lot of bravery and courage to stand before others and tell a story they don’t understand, and often don’t believe.

I know and believe that love, compassion and kindness is how we can transform ourselves and the world. We are in a time of great shifts, the time of change is here. We have hated each other long enough and it’s gotten us nowhere. It is time to try something different, to open our hearts to love. We are all different, and that’s okay. We aren’t meant to all be the same, we would learn nothing. Be kind for no reason, show compassion to those who need help, and always send love to every person you meet. Our job is not to judge, our job is to love.

It is only in the ashes of the past that you can forge the way to the future.

 

Have a beautiful day everyone!

Xo

Faye

Its time to look within

I feel pulled to write about the happenings that took place in Las Vegas. There are so many views from others but the one I have I haven’t seen said.

I just want to start out by saying that this is something that should have never happened, it is a loss that is felt by so many. My love goes out to the families that were affected by what happened. I will never understand acts of such darkness.

I want to start out by saying I believe that no one should be able to have an automatic weapon, there is simply no need for it.

I have heard many people say there needs to be more gun laws, the truth (at least mine) is that none of that matters, none of that will make any difference what so ever. People will always find a way to get a gun if they really want one.

I believe the real issue here is how unhappy, and unsatisfied Americans are. What we need to do is stop fighting with each other and unite as one. We need to talk more about mental health, to get to the root of the problem and not just throw pills at people. We need to understand that all the money in the world won’t make you happy, if you are not first happy with yourself.

We need to be taught how to love ourselves, and why that is so important.  We need to stop comparing ourselves to the people we see in the media. We need to listen to our intuition more, and everyone else less. We need to find happiness in our lives, we need fulfillment, joy and love.

This is a time when we need to look within. So within, so without. How you feel about yourself, will always be what reflected back to you.

Find out who you are, find out what makes you happy, discover what makes you come alive. Love yourself. Be kind, show compassion. Stop judging yourself, and everyone around you. Be grateful for the things you have, and tell those you love how much they mean to you.

Love is the answer, to every question. Spread love everywhere you go.

xo

Higher Purpose

I am so amazed by the time we are currently in; there is so many wonderful transformations happening in so many people. We are all (most of us at least) are beginning to open like a beautiful flower catching the rays of the sun. Finally ready to show and share our beauty with the world; to stand out from a field of weeds.

Yesterday, I had a light bed session; for those that do not know what a light bed is, it is a 7 different colored lights that coordinate to each charka. Attached to the light is crystals, so when the light comes through the crystals it aligns your charkas. It’s is basically a faster version of reiki, without having someone in the room with you (at least not in the physical).

I asked for a 20 minute as I thought that was all I needed, well Pamela ended up keeping in there for an hour; I guess spirit had other plans for me.  Needless to say, that is why I had all the vision and experiences that I did. Upon first laying down, and getting the light bed situated, I was relaxed and expected nothing.

That is one thing I have learned about energy work, and really life in general. Expect nothing and you can never be disappointed. Expect nothing and you will gain so much more. That was a tough lesson for me to learn, but here we are; and I finally get it! Haha.

Anyways back to the light bed, once everything was in place, and I was alone I instantly left my body. I saw vision of my grandmother, she had so many things to tell me and to show me. For the first few minutes I cried my eyes out, I was pouring my heart out to someone and everything just came out like a tidal wave of emotions. It was a very beautiful, touching moment for me (& I am sure it was just as touching for the other person).

After that was done, I started to focus on the blue flashing light (which is one of the light colors), when I saw a black, human shaped figure walk out of it. Spirit told me that it was chosen. That my purpose here is to help others see the depth in life, that we are connected and that love is the most powerful tool we have. That through my books, my blog and any other endeavors I do this will be successful because people will always be drawn to my light, and to my love. Spirit also told me that it is my time to spread love, in the times of darkness. Humans forget how easily they fall into the trap of darkness, it is so easy to hate someone who has wronged you, or hurt you but love is hard. It is hard to understand why someone has sent you mistreatment. Which is mostly them projecting how they feel about themselves onto you, in my experience acts of hatred, violence and anything negative is a silent cry for help or for love.

Spirit also told me “Money is meaningless, it is the root to our destruction” Which to be honest, I totally agree with. Money is one of the most meaningless things we have in this world. People hold so much value to it which is such nonsense. Judging someone by how much money they make, or how much is in their bank account is a wonderful way to miss out on the beautiful, meaningful parts of life.

Grandma reminded me to be easy on myself, to continue listening to myself and finding the power that comes with it. Love who I am, and do what makes my soul shine. It was a beautiful reminder that actually brought me to tears. Let’s be honest, every time I see or feel grandma I cry. The love I have for her is deeper than words can even express.

While I was out of my body, I felt energy go into my body, it was tingling and cold but so wonderful. This happened twice, as I assume my body needed some sort of healing done to it. Spirit often likes to get us out of the way whenever they can, since we often get in our own way and block what needs healed.

Spirit also showed me a glimpse of my future, which made me cry…again. I am easily moved to tears, especially when something is so beautiful and surrounded by love. I am not going to go into detail with this as it is personal but it was everything I could ever ask for, and everything I have ever wanted. Truly a divine love sent from the universe.

After seeing that spirit told me that everything is working out in divine timing, to hold space for this person as they are going through the same things as I am. (Only they don’t understand it and feel super crazy and confused by it all. Which to be fair, I am too but at least I kinda get it. Haha). To keep working on mending the broken pieces of myself, keep loving myself, keep listening and always be thankful. Everything will come to you sooner than you know, just be patient.

So all in all I was actually given answers, instead of more question. Thanks universe, it isn’t often that this happens, so I will take it. Haha.

I have known that turning 30 will be a huge turning point for me, where I used to hate turning 30, I now embrace it. My 20’s have been a decade of heart break, love, letting go, moving on, finding myself and re finding myself. Everything we go through has a higher purpose, it may not seem like it while we are going through situations but everything we go through is in our best interest.

Life is about finding the good in the bad, seeing the positive side of things makes life a little easier.  Let things flow, fighting them only makes them more difficult. Smile, laugh as often as you can, and never take yourself seriously.

 

xoxo

Times of transformation…

On Wednesday I got one of my attunements for my reiki master class. The last time I got a reiki attunement was four years ago, when I finished level two. It took me months to feel anything from it; but this time it totally different.

This time it took a matter of hours to start feel myself being cleansed. It started with my sinuses acting up but that has now subsided. The main issues I have felt today besides being tired is my throat hurting. It hurts to the point that I have all but lost my voice, when it was fine yesterday. Thinking about this actually makes me smile in gratitude. I know that I am adjusting to the new state of being and existing and that this is a needed part of my beautiful transformation. I believe my throat is being cleansed for one of two reasons; either I need this time to be still, to be quiet with my thoughts or  it is to rid myself of the blocks in my communication so that I may easily and accurately express the ways I am feeling.

I have always had a hell of a time saying how I feel, which I have always found rather funny, since writing comes so easily to me. Everything I don’t know how to say just seamlessly pours out of my fingers with ease without thinking twice. Speaking doesn’t do most emotions justice, if something leaves me in complete awe and wonder no words can make you feel that; only energy can make you feel that. When you write you put your energy into it. You leave a little piece of yourself behind in every sentence you write.

Speaking has always been difficult for me as I often trip over my tongue, so to speak, thinking far too fast for my mouth to say how I feel. Often times I am unable to bring myself to say things out loud because than it’s real, and being real can come to a punch in the face at times. I feel everything so passionately and so deeply that every moment touches my soul in a deeply profound way.

The relationships that I have with others are all cherished, my emotions simply run so deeply. That is why this time of reflection is so important for me, this is also why I have felt the need to unplug from the world lately. To get lost in a new experience and see where it takes me; too see what I find.

Life can become so mundane and dull if we allow it to be, often looking beyond the beauty that surrounds us every day. When you see the same things everyday it becomes easy to take them for granted, to lose your appreciation for them. It can become easy to forget why you fell in love in the first place, but only if you allow yourself too.

I often move things around, removing things that no longer make my heart overflow with love. If the things in my home do not add to my happiness or to the love that resides within me, than it has no place in my home or in my heart. This is really true for life in general, if the things and people we surround ourselves with do not aid in our light, and make our hearts overflow with love than they have no purpose in our lives.

It is so simple.

Life is a beautiful work of art, at times it may be abstract and other times it may be realism, either way it is a masterpiece and moves you in some way.

 

xoxo

We are all connected

I know it isn’t often that I share from my journal but this, this is just too perfect not to share…..

“….There are so many times I see my spirit wolf, Sheba. In my dreams she shows me the freedom I once had, when I too was a wolf. It is in her that I learned the power of the dark. How, if you let it, it can totally transform every ounce of your being. It is in the darkness where you find your strength, courage, wisdom, growth and truth. This is nothing to fear, but to be embraced. We cannot have darkness without light, for the darkness is where we find our light; it’s where we find ourselves.

This reminds me of the shadow self because the shadow is too associated with darkness. We put all the bits of ourselves that we deem unacceptable, and push them down and ignore them until they ultimately take on a life of their own. We must align with our darkness and use it is a source of power rather than a source of weakness.

I have found the realist, truest parts of myself that where hidden in the dark. It wasn’t until I found these buried treasures that I began to love myself; to reach a state of love that I didn’t even know existed. I cannot be half of anything, it is all or nothing. I am no longer willing to be half of myself to make someone else comfortable, I am who I am for better or worse. Take me as I am or leave me as I am, either way I am still me and I am still happy.

I know that everyone is not going to like me, or like the things I say. I know that I will always be “too much” for some people, and that is okay, but for those that I do connect with, they only enrich my life, and surround me with more love. I know that I am a deep woman, and that most men and even some woman are intimidated by this, and that is okay too. I live my life for myself, and no one else. I have always put my needs above everything else, to some this may seem selfish, but I call it self-care. If I am not happy, I cannot make another happy.  There are even days when I am more wolf than woman. Times when I want to howl at the moon, and run free in the woods. Other times, I am perfectly happy being the strong, beautiful, powerful, sexy woman that I am.

My point is we are all connected, we are all one. The love, kindness and compassion you give to another will spread and grow. Find yourself, all of yourself. Love that person, because you deserve the love you so freely give to others. Once you become a beacon of light and love, you will want nothing more but to help another. We all have times where we stray too far from our path, we all need picked up from time to time.

 

Be someone’s beacon of hope, of love, and of compassion.

Spread love and kindness everywhere you go,

& it will ALWAYS find it way back to you.

Put love into everything you do,

& you will never be unhappy.

 

Because love can move mountains

Love can heal even the deepest of wounds.

 

Love makes everything possible

And without it we have nothing.”

 

xo

 

Let Love In

We can blame others for our actions and mistakes but at the end of the day, they are choices that we made. We are only responsible for ourselves, we are the only ones to place “blame” on.

I, myself, have never understood the whole regret thing, either regretting things you have done or haven’t done. It is such a big part of our society to regret that choices you have made, and to this I say why regret it? In that moment it is exactly what you wanted, you felt that was the best choice so you went for it. Most regrets come from nights of drinking too much alcohol, and waking up in a haze. This too seems to be a rite of passage in our society, which I have never understood. Alcohol does more harm than good, and is so easy to become addicted too. Using it as a crutch to not deal with your emotions or as a way to cope with life. We all go through darkness in our lives and it is all in the choices we make in where that darkness takes us. It can either makes us stronger, or it can destroy us; it is simply up to us.

The regrets of people on their death bed breaks my heart, wishing they had been more open to love, telling those they love how much they mean to them. Living a life of happiness for themselves, instead living a life for others. Why are we so afraid of what others will think of us that we can life our entire lives miserable with the grand illusion of happiness? I don’t get it, I never have. Be happy, live the life you want for yourself and no one else. Let the world inspire you, be kind to one another and let love lead the way. Be open to love and new experiences.  Don’t allow yourself to be molded by the guidelines of life set by society. Those guidelines lead to misery and unfulfillment.

Most of us can fake it, but for how long? There will come a day when you see your life has been a lie, and then what? It is never too late to change your life, and find love and happiness within yourself. The world needs more rule brakes, more kindness and more love. Take the time to look within yourself, mend the broken pieces and find love. It will take you so many wonderful places in this life; places you never knew exist. Love transforms, love enriches and love is infectious.

It all beginnings and ends with us, do the self-work first and it will show itself in every aspect of your life.

 

xo

 

Journey of truth

I read an article yesterday posted by a dear friend, and it got thinking about light workers; even more so than I already had. One of the biggest misconceptions about the road to enlightenment or spirituality is that it’s easy. That it is all about light and love and nothing else. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Take it from someone who has been on her journey for several years now, this choice is not easy in anyway. When you decide to strip yourself of everything you were taught or has ever happened to you, it comes and slaps you in the face; it won’t go away until you let it go. The road to enlightenment isn’t easy, if it was there would be a lot more enlightened people.

This journey, like most of value, is painful, frustrating, ugly, dark and everything in between. Venturing onto the road of enlightenment is truly venturing into the deepest, darkest parts of yourself. This is how transformation accrues; the butterfly isn’t made in the light. The caterpillar first must spend months in the darkness to find her beauty before showing it to the world.  We, humans, are no different. Light is the place of rest, gratefulness, harmony, and love. All of which cannot be appreciated without the lessons of the dark.

As with everything, there will always be people who proclaim to be light workers or enlightened but those that are light workers don’t go around bragging or even saying that they are. Everyone knows their truths, we also know the difference between lies and truths. There will ALWAYS be people who crave attention, and will say anything to get it. I, myself, believe that is very possible that I am a light worker but that isn’t a term that I really use. I simply say I work with the light, the light lives within me, it allows me to use what has been given to me. This is not something that I go around screaming from the roof tops; this is sacred to me. It is a deep part of who I am, and anyone who knows me see that. The right people know, and the others don’t matter.

I often hear “don’t feed that negativity” but negativity is natural. Yes, I do believe that you shouldn’t feed negative energy, such as seeing animals being cruelly treated or go around with negative self-talk in your mind, or complain non-stop about everything. But the point is, it is all a part of life and in being someone aligned with the light you will always experience highs and lows; it’s like a never ending cycle really.  We need to vent, and let out all the negativity. Getting it out of our bodies in a positive way is what’s important. Harboring feelings of negativity and pushing them down, or feeling wrong for having them can be far more damaging than anything else.

What people must realize is the spiritual journey is about unbecoming everything you were conditioned to be. This is why it’s challenging, and downright suck sometimes but once you do the work, the other side of that is a brilliant feeling of euphoria, peace and love. That I can guarantee.