Take time to be still

Today I drove out to visit with my grandmother. This is something that I do as often as I can; as her energy can still be felt at her resting place. Some of you may think that it is “strange” to hang out in a graveyard for an hour or more at a time but for me it is recharging.

My grandmother has always been a driving force in my life, even when she was alive. She taught me many things about life and what kind of human you should be. Just because she has transitioned into her true form doesn’t mean it all just disappears.

Visiting her is my way of saying “Thank You”, it’s my way of reconnecting with her. Feeling her loving arms wrap around me, it is a beautiful reminder that the ones we love are never too far away from us. It is my way of slowing down and being present. I love the stillness, feeling the sun on my skin and the cool breeze touching my face, the quiet, I enjoy it all.

It’s so rare that we slow down and enjoy the day, or enjoy the moment as it comes. Moments pass us by so quickly, we have to enjoy them when we can. Visiting grandma is where I am find so much gratitude within myself, where I give back to mother earth. Giving her the love she so freely gives to us.

Enjoying the present is one of the best parts of living. The feeling of calmness cannot be compared to anything, it is peace in its truest form.  Take time for yourself to enjoy the little things in life, they are the best parts of life.

 

xo

Higher Purpose

I am so amazed by the time we are currently in; there is so many wonderful transformations happening in so many people. We are all (most of us at least) are beginning to open like a beautiful flower catching the rays of the sun. Finally ready to show and share our beauty with the world; to stand out from a field of weeds.

Yesterday, I had a light bed session; for those that do not know what a light bed is, it is a 7 different colored lights that coordinate to each charka. Attached to the light is crystals, so when the light comes through the crystals it aligns your charkas. It’s is basically a faster version of reiki, without having someone in the room with you (at least not in the physical).

I asked for a 20 minute as I thought that was all I needed, well Pamela ended up keeping in there for an hour; I guess spirit had other plans for me.  Needless to say, that is why I had all the vision and experiences that I did. Upon first laying down, and getting the light bed situated, I was relaxed and expected nothing.

That is one thing I have learned about energy work, and really life in general. Expect nothing and you can never be disappointed. Expect nothing and you will gain so much more. That was a tough lesson for me to learn, but here we are; and I finally get it! Haha.

Anyways back to the light bed, once everything was in place, and I was alone I instantly left my body. I saw vision of my grandmother, she had so many things to tell me and to show me. For the first few minutes I cried my eyes out, I was pouring my heart out to someone and everything just came out like a tidal wave of emotions. It was a very beautiful, touching moment for me (& I am sure it was just as touching for the other person).

After that was done, I started to focus on the blue flashing light (which is one of the light colors), when I saw a black, human shaped figure walk out of it. Spirit told me that it was chosen. That my purpose here is to help others see the depth in life, that we are connected and that love is the most powerful tool we have. That through my books, my blog and any other endeavors I do this will be successful because people will always be drawn to my light, and to my love. Spirit also told me that it is my time to spread love, in the times of darkness. Humans forget how easily they fall into the trap of darkness, it is so easy to hate someone who has wronged you, or hurt you but love is hard. It is hard to understand why someone has sent you mistreatment. Which is mostly them projecting how they feel about themselves onto you, in my experience acts of hatred, violence and anything negative is a silent cry for help or for love.

Spirit also told me “Money is meaningless, it is the root to our destruction” Which to be honest, I totally agree with. Money is one of the most meaningless things we have in this world. People hold so much value to it which is such nonsense. Judging someone by how much money they make, or how much is in their bank account is a wonderful way to miss out on the beautiful, meaningful parts of life.

Grandma reminded me to be easy on myself, to continue listening to myself and finding the power that comes with it. Love who I am, and do what makes my soul shine. It was a beautiful reminder that actually brought me to tears. Let’s be honest, every time I see or feel grandma I cry. The love I have for her is deeper than words can even express.

While I was out of my body, I felt energy go into my body, it was tingling and cold but so wonderful. This happened twice, as I assume my body needed some sort of healing done to it. Spirit often likes to get us out of the way whenever they can, since we often get in our own way and block what needs healed.

Spirit also showed me a glimpse of my future, which made me cry…again. I am easily moved to tears, especially when something is so beautiful and surrounded by love. I am not going to go into detail with this as it is personal but it was everything I could ever ask for, and everything I have ever wanted. Truly a divine love sent from the universe.

After seeing that spirit told me that everything is working out in divine timing, to hold space for this person as they are going through the same things as I am. (Only they don’t understand it and feel super crazy and confused by it all. Which to be fair, I am too but at least I kinda get it. Haha). To keep working on mending the broken pieces of myself, keep loving myself, keep listening and always be thankful. Everything will come to you sooner than you know, just be patient.

So all in all I was actually given answers, instead of more question. Thanks universe, it isn’t often that this happens, so I will take it. Haha.

I have known that turning 30 will be a huge turning point for me, where I used to hate turning 30, I now embrace it. My 20’s have been a decade of heart break, love, letting go, moving on, finding myself and re finding myself. Everything we go through has a higher purpose, it may not seem like it while we are going through situations but everything we go through is in our best interest.

Life is about finding the good in the bad, seeing the positive side of things makes life a little easier.  Let things flow, fighting them only makes them more difficult. Smile, laugh as often as you can, and never take yourself seriously.

 

xoxo

Never give up & Never quit fighting

Today is the first day of spring, or the spring equinox. The energy leading up to today has been exhausting to say the least. I have felt myself releasing; to which I wonder how much can really be left…..apparently a lot. I’ve felt my body, mind and soul upgrading to a new state of being and seeing. Sluggish and tried have been a way of life over the past few days, due to this upgrade. I see so many things changing and evolving within myself and within others. This is such an important time on this beautiful planet. Once we change ourselves inside, is when we can change the outside world.

What we have done to the planet, to our great mother is a disturbing reflection of how we all feel about ourselves. It’s all a reflection of how the majority feels on the inside, refusing to see the beauty that lives within us. Refusing to take care and nurture those innocent, sweet parts of ourselves. Never really satisfied or content with anyone or anything; only wanting things to make us happy and then when we have them no longer wanting them. What I don’t understand is why we think this is okay, why don’t people spend time outside anymore? How is destroying the beauty forests progress? (The world doesn’t need more houses, or more shopping malls.) Are we that ego driven to think that anything we create is more beautiful than anything mother could create? These are the kinds of things I think about. Anyways, more to the point….

Once we began to love the person within us, once we began to nurture, and take care of this beauty is when we will began to take care of our environment. If we take care of ourselves, than we will take care of nature. Everything we do is a reflection ourselves, whether we like to acknowledge that or not.  When the majority steps out of the shadows and into their own light and their own power is when we will see major things changing. (Let me tell you its coming….I can feel it. So many things have changed and been released it’s so clear we are about to step into a whole new period of being and existing) The simple truth is we need a revolution of love. A call to action for each and every one of us to love the beauty and light that is within us. We need to step into our own power and strength. Yes, there are parts of ourselves that we all don’t like to see or face but those are the parts that we need to face the most. It is the key that unlocks a whole new world, a world that has been waiting for you for your entire life. It’s the world of freedom. Free from fear, shame, pride, ego and everything you have wanted to cleanse yourself of.

You can do your part to spread love every day. Walk around with a smile on your face, if you aren’t having the best day think of something that makes you happy and watch a smile appear. It is the simplest of things but can make all the difference to someone. Say “Thank You”, show your gratitude to others. Be kind. When a negative thought comes into your mind, quickly change it to something positive. Slow down and take time to feel the warmth on the sun on your skin, to feel how unimportant all that stress, worry and drama is. Remember what is really important, put things in perspective. These are all things that help make the world a little better each day, positivity spreads like wild fire once started. You never know how many lives you can touch or change by doing these simple things; you may even end up changing your life.

 

Have a spectacular Monday everyone!! It’s a new week; there is no better time to change than the present. Never give up and never quit fighting!

Do what you love

Yesterday was a great day for me; I completed my first book. I am still waiting on the cover art to come back, and I need author photo but once I get those done I will be ready to publish. I will keep all of you up to date on the progress and when it will be release. I am so proud of this book; I quite literally put my heart and soul into it. It is about my spiritual journey and all things I learned along the way. I have been working on it for about 2 years, so I am thrilled it is finally ready.

I also rediscovered my love of hooping yesterday. I mostly only hooped around my waist so I was looking up some tricks to learn and fell in love all over again. It is meditative for me, something I can get lost in. I can allow my body to move and flow however it wants to. Needless to say my hands are bruised beyond belief this morning; I was working on isolation’s last night. No pain, no gain, right? I am going to try to practice more today, I just don’t know how far I will get since my hands are pretty sore.

Also, dont forget I am now offering tarot card readings. If you would like one simply go to the services section of the website.

I hope all of you have a wonderful day, find something you love & never give up…

Path to healing

Over the past few days I have become increasingly aware of the next step I need to take in my spiritual journey. I knew I wanted to rid myself of old thinking patterns that no longer work for me. Old belief systems that are old and worn out, and that I no longer believe to be true. Basically, getting rid of everything that no longer resonates with me. I need to find myself again, and re align with my highest potential. I knew that in knowing all of this I was on the right path, I just didn’t know how to accomplish the task. So I took to the spiritual group I am in, they are like family to me. I knew that they would understand and give me guidance and advice. Many people commented with their advice but out of all of them, only one resonated with me. She wrote, “You may need to forgive your parents as a child. I am going through the same thing, and that is what I have begun to do.” It’s like a lightbulb went off, that is exactly what I needed to do; I just knew it. I read a couple articles on this topic, and as I read it became clearer and clearer that my inner child was screaming out to me for help.

I went on YouTube to see if they had any meditation videos on this topic, and sure enough they did. I got comfortable, and begun to relax for a few minutes. Once I got settled, I started the video, took some deep breathes and relaxed further. As the mediation progressed I came to this place were all my memories of my childhood, that are linked to her pain, are all stored. I could see all these little clouds of memories, I could hear the echoes of them all around me. Until one of them stood out the most, I don’t know why this one stood out the most. Perhaps because it the newest wound, or it’s the most vivid in my mind. Whatever the reason, I entered this memory. Everything was as I remembered it expect for one part. Instead of me being an adult, I was a child. This is how I see myself when I mediate, when I dream, and when I go to my happy place. I am always a little blonde haired girl, with a white cotton dress, and no shoes. It was at this point that I realized, this is how I still see myself. I still see myself as this little girl that is broken, hurt, and sad. A little girl who just wants to be enough, accepted, and loved. So many people tell me they love me but very few actually show it. As someone who runs off emotions, I want to feel your love, anyone can say it but not everyone can make you feel it.

So here I am in this memory, with myself, I take her hand and tell her “You don’t need to be sad anymore, I am here to protect you and keep you safe. The people that inflected pain upon you shows more about them than you. There is nothing wrong with you, and you no longer need to feel that there is.” I asked her what she needs to do to heal, “I need to forgive everyone that has hurt me. You have forgiven them but I haven’t. I need to, it is time” she replied. I then tell her “You had no control over the situation, there is nothing that you could’ve done.” With a tear running down her cheek, she smiles and says “I know.” “We have control our life now, we choose what happens to us. Which is why we must forgive our parents, we cannot allow them to have control over us any longer.” She then whispers something to me, which I do not remember. I then come out of the mediation and fall right asleep.

Upon waking, I still feel some lingering sadness, which I will feel as deeply as I know how to. I may even have a beautiful release of tears. This pain was created by tears so it only seems fitting that I release it the same way.

Remember we are never really done growing and evolving, we all have traumas and pain we carry with us. Be gentle to one another, spread love, be kind, and smile. There is much beauty to be found in all of us

Deeper understanding of who you are

It’s crazy how one moment can change everything; make everything you felt or had crumble away in an instant. The pieces that you’re left with are the same hollow shell you used to be. The person you thought you had grown out of and healed from but she still resides within you. You are now here once again, stuck in this strange place of sadness, unrest and confusion; with no idea of which way to go.

Life is a funny thing, you think you have worked through those parts of yourself and yet they still return to be worked on and healed once more. I never thought that I would feel this way again, honestly I didn’t. I guess some traumas we have never really go heal fully; especially that trauma we have repeated in so many of our lives. The universe has a funny way of working, bringing up things within us so that we can cleanse ourselves from it; moving higher in our vibration only to be brought back down in another time, in some other way. I may not be to blame to for this state that I am in, but I am responsible for the work I now must do. I know that this has happened for a reason, and that it is now time for me to go deeper within myself and find what it is that I need to heal from. I am trying to be the same, to act as if nothing has happened but I am not one for make believe. I can only act the way I feel, and say the way I feel. I will not let this sadness, this strange grief get me down. I will stay strong in the love I have for myself, I will work through this and be a better, stronger version on myself than ever before.

The lesson I have to share with all of you is that no matter what happens in our lives, we are responsible for how we feel. WE have control over what affect us and what doesn’t. Others may help bring out parts of us that we didn’t know existed and that is their purpose. They are teachers, here to show us how to better ourselves. Feel the pain, let is pour into your soul. Release it and heal. These are how we evolve into deeper understanding of ourselves.

Planet yourselves in darkness so you can go into the light

Be Selfish

I am home today, we left Philadelphia yesterday. Which I am glad that we did, police were out in full force due to Trump’s visit today.  The trip away was so good for me; it has been a long time since I took a trip without my husband. It was wonderful to spend time with a dear friend and explore the city. It feels wonderful to be home and spend time with my dog. He is my main man; he is the holder of my secrets, the love of my life, and my best friend. He hasn’t left my side since I’ve been home, which makes me feel so loved.

On this trip away I have realized how important it is to be selfish from time to time. We must do what makes us happy, and be around people that make us happy. People that inspire us to be better, to live outside our comfort zone and people that align with us. Taking care of yourself and your needs should come before anyone else’s. I say this as someone who has always put everyone else before herself; always putting myself last left me empty, and drained. For the first time in my life I love myself enough to say “It’s my turn”, to take care of myself and do the things that make me feel so alive. I want this year, and more years to come to be all about traveling, and writing. I may not be able to change the world, but I can change the people in my world.

Have a wonderful day everyone, go live & stay beautiful.

City Adventures

Yesterday I arrived in Philly; one of my friends had a work trip so I came along to get away from the day to day. We went to Eastern State Penitentiary. The campus is enormous, far bigger than I thought it would be.  Upon entering, it felt like you were in another time; the city of the outside world disappeared. You now were in a city of darkness, hopelessness and despair surrounded you. As we walked around the cell blocks it felt as if you were being followed or stared at. You could tell that the prison was still very much alive, and most poisoners had never left. Some of the cell blocks were so negative, there were a few times I had to go outside to get away from it. I felt such sadness there, I don’t know if that was coming from the energy around me, or if that was me feeling so sad for them. I was hoping to the infirmary and some other areas of the prison, but they were blocked off. I could not image having to live out the rest of my life there. My first words entering the prison was “If I had to live here, I would kill myself” to me it was like hell.  Some areas of the prison were worse than others, but overall it is undeniable that it is haunted at least to me it is.

After we left the prison, we headed over to see the stairs that were used in Rocky. So we took a picture with the rocky statue, and went up the stairs. I need to work on my cardio, by the time I got to the top I was winded.  There were some people there who were running up the stairs sideways, I give them mad props. When we got to the top of the stairs both of our phones died, which meant we couldn’t use uber. Lucky for us there was a cab that just pulled up, so we went back to hotel to charge up. Later in the evening we went out got some dinner, and had so much fun. We met so many new people, and just talked. It was lovely.

My friend has been working all day, so I have been writing like a crazy woman. It feels so good to be away from all the things that normally distract me. I can go deeper within myself, and see how I truly feel about everything. So far I am enjoying my stay in philly, once I got adjusted to the all the energy here, it’s pretty nice. I has been raining for days though, and is still raining. So I am hoping it stops this evening so we can go out and explore a little more.

 

 

What a week

It has been days since I have had to just sit and write anything. Most of the week I was feeling so tried, and just exhausted. There has been some updates going on for us, and I was feeling it for sure; my body has been healing and releasing all week.  I finally feel like myself again, thank goodness. I am sure without a doubt there will be more updates to come, as this is a pretty intense time right now.

I got to spend some time with a beloved friend this week, which is always fun. We went to her friend’s house and I got to try out a light bed for the first time. A light bed has different lights on it, the color of each charka, and then the lights are placed over you so they hoover over your charkas. The lights are very bright, and colorful. I only did a 20 minute session to start, and that was enough for my first time. It took me a while to just relax and quite my mind, but once I did I got so relaxed. My arms and legs felt so heavy and I just didn’t want to move. It was an amazing feeling to have all of my charkas open at one time. Once my time was up, I was relaxed for hours after word. I just felt so light, and had no worries. I don’t even think I was thinking about anything, which was amazing in its self. Not having any sort of experience while under the light, I thought that I wouldn’t have any experience at all…I was wrong. That night my dreams were loaded with symbolism. They were the kind of dreams that feel so real you wake up and have to take a second to think “did that just happen?” then you know that it was only a dream. The dream was so real in fact that I had to ask one of my physic friends if the guy in it was a subconscious message or if there was a real spiritual connection there. Turns out it was just a subconscious message, which added even more meaning and symbolism to the dream. I am thankful the spirit guides show me all of these things; I know they talk to me all the time but I cannot hear them through all the noise. My next goal will be quieting my mind, so that I can hear. There are many times I feel so scattered, I have to reel myself back in and stay focused. I am going to go back next week for another session; I am excited to see what the spirits have in store for me.

 

We are never done learning and improving ourselves. There is always work to be done.

 sending light & love to all of you.

xo