With darkness comes light

August has arrived, how is everyone feeling?? It got a little rough (& dark) there for a little while, didn’t it? Feels good to be rebooting back into myself again. How was this transformational period for everyone? A lot of stuff came up didn’t it; talk about rebirth!

The full moon & lunar eclipse (along with planets going retrograde, solar storms & everything else) left me exhausted and drained, in a way I haven’t experienced for quite some time. I saw (& am still seeing) synchronicities around me. In the way of animals (mostly birds, as I am in bird medicine currently), numbers, & things just aligning perfectly. I was having a huge issue with stagnant energy in my sacral (stomach). Then here comes moon goddess and says “I’ll help you with that!” I even had dreams of a boyfriend I had when I was 18. Spirit, universe and the moon all wanted to be sure that I got the message (they know it takes me awhile sometimes), and I totally did. Actually it was more like this total epiphany, & awakening unlocking everything for me. Looping themes & boundaries, were two HUGE topics for me.

I began my work with serpent energy, as she symbolizes rebirth, she helped me get energy flowing again. As soon as it started to flow I was a releasing queen. Things were coming up left & right to be let go of, released and detached from. I haven’t been in that victim state of mind in a while but there it was a part of myself still felt that way, so I got rid of all of it. I do not need the past (or baggage) to define me or who I am. Like many things the easiest stuff always goes quickly then you get to the real stuff. When you hit a certain level of depth within yourself & you had no idea that stuff was even there, that’s the challenge. That’s the test from the universe to see if you’re really wanting change as much as you say you do. I believe the universe & spirit to be a no nonsense kind of force, you either are willing to work for it or you’re not.  She is all about action, and putting the work in.

I went to depths I didn’t even know existed within me. I felt it too, my physical body was done. I took naps, which I never do, just because my body needed it. I had a list full of things I wanted to accomplish but none of it got done; it was okay though I needed the rest. It felt like my light body was advancing at such an accelerated speed that my physical body couldn’t keep up. I took the time I needed, that is such an important thing to do. When your body tells you, “Hey, I need a brake” then listen. It is okay to rest momentarily & pick everything up later. I went into my sacred space & spent a lot of time there. I withdrew from society for a little while because I needed too. For me, I cannot be social while still going deep into myself; I’t just doesn’t work for me. I spent a lot of time in nature, it called out to me. There was one day where every time I’d come home I’d be called right back outside again. I needed the love from mother, I needed her support.

And here we are now, its August & there is a magic in the air. I find myself taking the first steps into my new life & my new ways of being. I have set boundaries with myself & stand powerfully in them. I even stood up to my mother & didn’t feel bad about it (which has been a huge looping theme for me). I am in my power, & if I’m being honest, it feels amazing. I have been so proud of myself to tell the world what I will & will not accept. It’s a truly empowering feeling all on its own & once you start, you’ll only want more. I see myself spiraling out of the orbit of my old self, none of that serves me anymore. I have really just come to a place where I am sick of the reruns, the same crap that plays over & over again. I am just over it & am moving forward.  I am ready to receive everything that I have been working hard to manifest.

I am ready to walk into my new life. I am ready for everything I always knew was waiting for me. I am ready to shine, inspire & to create. I am ready for happiness, joy & love. I am ready for it all. I am ready to leave the old me behind & walk with strength, courage & love into a new chapter.

I want you to know that you can change your life, you are the master & creator of your destiny. A happy life always starts with a grateful heart. Everything you’ve ever wanted is out there waiting for you, go get it!

 

Blessings,

Xo Faye

Honor The Call

I haven’t written in a while because I really (If Im being honest) haven’t felt the need to; but today is different. Today I feel I have the call, so I must answer.

Over the past few months my emotions have been a roller coaster ride, as so much of the collective is rising to be transmuted. Last month was the month of grieving for me, did you feel it too? It’s not that I was depressed, and no one had passed away but it was something that I just needed to do. I have lost so much in my life, even though I have gained so much from those losses, it seemed I have never grieved them. Understanding this came as a surprise to me, I always celebrated the lessons I had learned from each experience but how could I of been so blind to not fully feel what got me there.

It’s quite incredible when you take time to reflect on how far you’ve come. Taking some time for myself, I felt everything fully & completely; I allowed my tears to flow freely. I felt grief from things I thought I had let go of, years ago. It is always such a beautiful experience when you simple are, and this was no exception.

Currently, I have been feeling heavy sadness in the collective, and in my soul family. We all have a little piece that is ours, though some take on a little more to lighten the load for another. We are all working together to transmute this sadness, so that more light and love can make it way to all of us. By doing your work, you not only helping yourself but you help those connected to you. This is currently where I’m at, doing my work so that more love makes its way in (that is what life is all about after all). We all have a place to fill, and work to do & by listening when spirit calls you’re doing so much for the world, even if it doesn’t feel like it. Any act of healing and letting go, no matter how small makes an impact.

We are the children of our great mother. As we heal ourselves, we heal her. As we connect to her, we connect to ourselves. As we feel her love, we know we can never be without. As we honor her, we honor ourselves. Mother gives us all that we need, but what do we give her in return?

That is what I was leave you with, a thought provoking question.

 

Blessings,

Xo Faye

 

Disconnect to Connect

The theme I keep seeing arising within myself, and the ones close to me is disconnect to connect. Wanting to be more detached from social media, television, and not be so dependent on a cell phone. To reconnect with the things that makes life worth living. Building real face to face relationships with people we care about, making plans and sticking to them, taking the time to visit a loved one for no reason expect to see how they are. To connect to the things we have lost sight of, the things are parents and grandparents were raised on. Principles, morals and values.

Personally my usage of social media has declines dramatically over the past several months. I started to see what it was, and had done to me. I would be in this amazing space, surrounded by all this light and love from the universe and our beautiful mother; I’d get on Facebook and I could feel it all get sucked away almost instantly. Leaving me feeling icky, and just not in the same way I had come in. Facebook can be a great platform for many beings coming together to share, and spread light and love but most of the time (at least by what I see) it is just another way for hatred and negativity to grow stronger. It is draining, and exhausting so I decided to take it out of my life. If it isn’t serving my highest potential, than I don’t need it.

I do still have a Facebook account, (I kept it for the spiritual group that I am apart of) but now I only check it once a month to see whats in my notifications and move on quickly. It has been quite freeing actually, which isn’t what I expected to get out of this. I no longer feel the need to post or share every aspect of my life with the world. My options are mine, and if I believe that sharing them will help make a difference than I will, otherwise I will keep them to myself. The moments I share on vacations and the photos I take should be kept private, they are beautiful moments that should only be shared with those you love; not posting them to see how many “likes” you get. Remember the days when friends or family would have to come over to see the photos of your wedding, vacation or of your new born child. You’d have coffee or a cup of tea and share stories, making it this whole experience; yes, that is what I want to get back too. That is what we should all get back to, actually enjoying the human experience. Step away from idolizing “famous” people and discussing how you think someone’s new look is this or that, it really makes no difference what you think about them; what matters is how you feel about yourself.

There is many things wrong with the way we live, and the way we have become but we cannot focus solely on that. We must focus on the love that is around us and within us. We must focus on the light that radiates throughout the planet; in all the animals, and in all the plants. We must come together for a common cause if we want change. It brings tears to my eyes to watch so many stand up for what they believe is right, such beauty and power in that.

Take the time to evaluate what excels your growth and your light, and what dims it. Don’t be afraid to let go, or to love from a far, you have to do what is best for yourself before you can help anyone else.

 

Bless it be.

Faye

Reconnect

Before the full moon I have been feeling a shift beginning to take place. I believe I am not alone in this feeling; everything is starting to change for the better. We are entering into a time of great beauty and instant manifestation. Now that the full moon has passed, and I am still feeling the effects of her energy; I know that everything I have been feeling and even experiencing first hand is spot on.

It is time to manifest our dreams and make our deepest desires come true. There has never been a more perfect time to fulfill and enrich our lives. I know that I have been called back to my two longest love affairs; photography and writing. I had taken a break from both for many reason but mostly for the fact that I had so much going on within myself that I did not feel inspired or creative in anyway.

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There are times in each of our lives where we just need time. Time to sort through our feelings, our hearts desires, and all the chaos in between. Had I not allowed myself this time, everything I wrote and every picture I took would be empty of passion, have dark undertones, and be lack luster to say the least. Now that I have taken my time to heal and let go of so much, I am back better and more alive than ever.

I know that I have said before that you should spend time in your darkness, and learn from what you find there. For me, that has never been more true. It isn’t that I was in a “bad” place, it’s more of I was in between who I used to be, and who I am now. I talked to a beloved friend who gave me an entirely new perspective on everything, which really made me dive deep within. There I unlocked the door to my past, viewing it now in a way that I hadn’t before. Writing has always been therapeutic for me, and this time was no different. I wrote many letters, too many people, then when I was finished I burned them. Fire has always been transformative too me, and the best way to release into the universe.

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Once again I see the world with open eyes; taking in all the beauty and wonder that is daily life. I live my life in awe, amazed by what love can build and by what love can do. Even the simplest things can move me to tears with its raw beauty. Take nothing for granted & love every minute of this wild ride called life.

All I can think of is the flower. It doesn’t not bloom for you, or for me. And it cannot be rushed to bloom. It will wait until the time is right. And when it does bloom, it blooms for itself. It has spent its time in the darkness, so that it may now become everything it was meant to be. A beautiful work of art.

Many Blessings,

Xo Faye

 

P.S. – The photos shown are a few that I took a few nights ago around sunset. It truly filled my heart with love to look through that camera lens again.

 

Beautifully Broken

It seems lately it is one thing after another in terms of spiritual awakening, growth, and releasing. The universe has demanded so much from us and our bodies over the past few months. There are so many waking up from a long nap, so much darkness that is coming to the surface to be eradicated by the light.

I don’t watch television much so I am always out of the loop with pop culture and what is going on in the world; but the one thing that has managed to be unavoidable is all the things going on in Hollywood. The mistreatment of woman is truly a larger issue than I guess many recognized. It is so easy to stay blind to the ugliness of the world. To see all of these woman coming forward with their stories of abuse and neglect is beautifully heartbreaking.  It’s brave to see these woman stepping out of the shadows and taking a stand but it is so tragic that any of this had to happen in the first place. As someone who has been through this type of abuse, I applaud every woman who has told her story (anonymously or not it doesn’t matter).  It takes a lot of bravery and courage to stand before others and tell a story they don’t understand, and often don’t believe.

I know and believe that love, compassion and kindness is how we can transform ourselves and the world. We are in a time of great shifts, the time of change is here. We have hated each other long enough and it’s gotten us nowhere. It is time to try something different, to open our hearts to love. We are all different, and that’s okay. We aren’t meant to all be the same, we would learn nothing. Be kind for no reason, show compassion to those who need help, and always send love to every person you meet. Our job is not to judge, our job is to love.

It is only in the ashes of the past that you can forge the way to the future.

 

Have a beautiful day everyone!

Xo

Faye

We are all connected

I know it isn’t often that I share from my journal but this, this is just too perfect not to share…..

“….There are so many times I see my spirit wolf, Sheba. In my dreams she shows me the freedom I once had, when I too was a wolf. It is in her that I learned the power of the dark. How, if you let it, it can totally transform every ounce of your being. It is in the darkness where you find your strength, courage, wisdom, growth and truth. This is nothing to fear, but to be embraced. We cannot have darkness without light, for the darkness is where we find our light; it’s where we find ourselves.

This reminds me of the shadow self because the shadow is too associated with darkness. We put all the bits of ourselves that we deem unacceptable, and push them down and ignore them until they ultimately take on a life of their own. We must align with our darkness and use it is a source of power rather than a source of weakness.

I have found the realist, truest parts of myself that where hidden in the dark. It wasn’t until I found these buried treasures that I began to love myself; to reach a state of love that I didn’t even know existed. I cannot be half of anything, it is all or nothing. I am no longer willing to be half of myself to make someone else comfortable, I am who I am for better or worse. Take me as I am or leave me as I am, either way I am still me and I am still happy.

I know that everyone is not going to like me, or like the things I say. I know that I will always be “too much” for some people, and that is okay, but for those that I do connect with, they only enrich my life, and surround me with more love. I know that I am a deep woman, and that most men and even some woman are intimidated by this, and that is okay too. I live my life for myself, and no one else. I have always put my needs above everything else, to some this may seem selfish, but I call it self-care. If I am not happy, I cannot make another happy.  There are even days when I am more wolf than woman. Times when I want to howl at the moon, and run free in the woods. Other times, I am perfectly happy being the strong, beautiful, powerful, sexy woman that I am.

My point is we are all connected, we are all one. The love, kindness and compassion you give to another will spread and grow. Find yourself, all of yourself. Love that person, because you deserve the love you so freely give to others. Once you become a beacon of light and love, you will want nothing more but to help another. We all have times where we stray too far from our path, we all need picked up from time to time.

 

Be someone’s beacon of hope, of love, and of compassion.

Spread love and kindness everywhere you go,

& it will ALWAYS find it way back to you.

Put love into everything you do,

& you will never be unhappy.

 

Because love can move mountains

Love can heal even the deepest of wounds.

 

Love makes everything possible

And without it we have nothing.”

 

xo

 

Let Love In

We can blame others for our actions and mistakes but at the end of the day, they are choices that we made. We are only responsible for ourselves, we are the only ones to place “blame” on.

I, myself, have never understood the whole regret thing, either regretting things you have done or haven’t done. It is such a big part of our society to regret that choices you have made, and to this I say why regret it? In that moment it is exactly what you wanted, you felt that was the best choice so you went for it. Most regrets come from nights of drinking too much alcohol, and waking up in a haze. This too seems to be a rite of passage in our society, which I have never understood. Alcohol does more harm than good, and is so easy to become addicted too. Using it as a crutch to not deal with your emotions or as a way to cope with life. We all go through darkness in our lives and it is all in the choices we make in where that darkness takes us. It can either makes us stronger, or it can destroy us; it is simply up to us.

The regrets of people on their death bed breaks my heart, wishing they had been more open to love, telling those they love how much they mean to them. Living a life of happiness for themselves, instead living a life for others. Why are we so afraid of what others will think of us that we can life our entire lives miserable with the grand illusion of happiness? I don’t get it, I never have. Be happy, live the life you want for yourself and no one else. Let the world inspire you, be kind to one another and let love lead the way. Be open to love and new experiences.  Don’t allow yourself to be molded by the guidelines of life set by society. Those guidelines lead to misery and unfulfillment.

Most of us can fake it, but for how long? There will come a day when you see your life has been a lie, and then what? It is never too late to change your life, and find love and happiness within yourself. The world needs more rule brakes, more kindness and more love. Take the time to look within yourself, mend the broken pieces and find love. It will take you so many wonderful places in this life; places you never knew exist. Love transforms, love enriches and love is infectious.

It all beginnings and ends with us, do the self-work first and it will show itself in every aspect of your life.

 

xo

 

Illusion of life

Death is the illusion that after our body no longer functions that it’s the end for us; the permeate end, never experiencing anything again.  For me this is simply that, an illusion. Something that man has created to push us towards worshiping a god, looking to the sky for answers. When all the answers we seek can be found not in a man living in the heavens, but within ourselves.

To me the thought of heaven being home is simply our souls in the true form, without a body to cage us in. It is not a place where little babies in diapers dance on clouds; it is simply the where our souls exist. The thought of death is something I do not believe, when my body turns weak and burns out my soul will live on. I will return to my blissful, peaceful state of being. I will live again in another body, in another way. My soul does not die, so “death” is only a part of my soul’s evolution.

As most of you know I am not a religious person, when I hear people talking of God I simply switch it out for universe. To me that makes so much more sense than the stories of a man, a demi god really, coming to save all of those who worship him. Man is always looking for a reason to be the best they can be but why can’t we just be decent human beings for none other than for love. Why is it that man needs an excuse or reason to be decent? Is it because they aren’t truly that way but feel compelled or obligated to be decent? Always afraid of being judged by everyone, even by God when the times comes; I feel as if this all seems far too complex for it to be truth.

Whatever you believe the purpose of life is to learn and grow. Learn from all those around you, even those that you do not get along with. We have lessons to learn from all of those around us. To grow the soul through whatever means necessary; we choose to have bodies so that we can experience pain and hurt. The meaning of life is to find love within yourself for yourself and all those around you. To find your calling, and let it transform your life in beautiful ways; to live simply and to simply live.

As I have said before, life is easy it is us that complicate it. Sit back, relax, take in the beauty and just breathe.

 

xoxo

Freely Give

I woke this morning thinking about Love and how it has made my life so valuable. How me giving love so freely has aided me, and how receiving love has only lead me to all the growth I have accomplished.

My love of hooping for instance, has shown me how beautiful I am. It has help me to build my confidence, and patience. From it, I have begun to trust myself more and more. I have never felt so good about myself, or had a healthy positive feeling about myself. It has helped me smile when I just want to cry, release from the stress of the day but most importantly of all it has helped me connect with myself. When the hoop wraps around me, I feel a surge of feminine energy that lives within me. It helps me release any and all false parts of myself and allows me to be the beautiful, fierce, goddess that I am. Hooping simply makes me come alive, more alive than I have ever been. It’s a love that I share with the hula hoop, it’s a desire to find myself, and it’s a practice that takes courage and devotion, its love in its true form. The love we carry for ourselves shapes and molds our entire lives, so if you find something (positive) that makes you feel free than never let go of it.

The love I have given to friends, family and lovers most of which have walked out of my life has changed me in the best ways. It has shown me that my love for them was never dependent upon theirs; I still hold love for them in my heart. Hoping that they find everything they are looking for in life. I no longer try to stop others when they want to leave my life, I simply let them. If our time together has come to an end than that’s how it’s meant to be. It simply means I’ve learned all that I needed to from them or they have learned all they were meant to from me. All relationships are not meant to last forever, I understand that now. I will always wear my heart on my sleeve because that is where it was always been. I will not stop giving my love freely because I do not get it in return or because others do not understand it. I love for me, and no one else. I give love freely because everyone deserves to be loved. Do to others as you’d want them to do to you. That is how I have always lived my life, and I always will. I expect nothing from you in return, my love is free. Everyone is different and I cannot expect from them as I would do, I can only control my actions and reactions.

Love is the best give you can give anyone but first you must find it for yourself. People may be hard to love, love them anyways they are the ones who need it the most. Some of us lock our hearts away, or build walls around them, love them anyway they are simply afraid. We all defend ourselves whatever way works best for us, love is the answer to every question and to every sorrow. Love is all we need and all we crave. Simply open your heart and give love to another and watch how it brightens their day. Watch how contagious love is, and how it spreads like wild fire when given the chance. We are all born with love in our hearts, it never leaves us. We simply push it down out of fear, but what happens if you let it rise. If you let love engulf every ounce of your being, wouldn’t life be so much more enjoyable.

Love is all there is, it is all that matters. It’s a universal language that everything understands and that everything is born from.

 

XOXO

Brake free

I have started to see things seemingly for the first time; my eyes closed yet wide open. Perhaps it is my change in perspective or just my appreciation for a simple, quiet life but I have noticed something that is very wrong with us. Now when I say “us” I can only speak for the country I live in, America.

I was on Facebook the other day, adding photos to my blog page. I began to scroll and I came across this post about a television show. I began to read the comments, and it was just a bunch of people crying because the show was cancelled. They weren’t satisfied with reasons it was canceled so they began to bring politics into it. I started to make me think, this is what is wrong with us.

We are taught that everything is right or wrong, black or white, anti vs pro that most only see only one side of things, their side. We’ve been brainwashed without even knowing it has been done to us. So blinded by how we are supposed to feel, act and think that we cannot see what has been done to us. Prisoners to the material possessions we cherish so deeply, because without them we are nothing. Prisoners to a way of thinking that just doesn’t work anymore, so afraid to step out of our comfort zone; that to be honest isn’t that comfortable. Prisoners to the television, being told what to buy, what to wear, how you should look. It is all a lie, it is all an illusion.

We have become so divided and hate driven that we can no longer see what we are becoming. We choose not to see the truth, even though it is right in front of us. Using religion and race as an excuse to spread more hate and violence; you are different from us and we cannot allow that. Only attending church to feel better about all the sins you’re guiltily of. Forgetting that the message of religion is to love one another and to be delighted in our differences, and embrace them.

I am ashamed of how we have allowed ourselves to be controlled, manipulated and divided. I am ashamed of what we’ve become. We are capable of so much more than this. So many are afraid of being an induvial that they would much rather be lost of in the crowd. My hope for us is that we turn off the television, get rid of your cell phones and spend time doing something you love. Sit and read a book, work in the garden, get a cup of coffee and sit in the park, take a hike and be surrounded with trees. Spend time being in the present, with the ones you love. These are the memories that will outlast any material possession you have. As you get older you will see how important these moments are, and how much you begin to cherish them.

Take a break from the world, sit in the quiet, and just be simply as you are. We are not robots who are programmed to be a certain way, or are we? We have the ability to be our own person. You don’t have to follow the crowd until you die, brake free. You can be anything you want to be, and you do can do whatever you want to do. Work hard and stay focused. Failing is how you climb the ladder to success, you cannot be great at something until you’ve failed at it. Never give up on your dreams because anything IS possible. Life is simply a matter of perspective.

 

Have a blessed day everyone xoxo