Take on depression

What is depression, really!? Why are so many affected by it; there is a reason why it’s the top leading illness in the world but why?

By ignoring our soul’s purpose, we are killing our spirits. By staying in places that aren’t meant for us or with people who bring us no joy, we are killing our spirits. We aren’t always meant to be where we want to be and it can be difficult to let go; but its’ killing us.

By living a lie, and being a fake version of ourselves, we are killing our spirits. When you live a life that isn’t true to you, you can never find true happiness. You may find little blips of happiness here and there but it never stays and it never lasts long. The blips are simply there to show you how your life could be, if you could see that you hold the key to your happiness.

Instead we rely on alcohol, drugs and passions of the flesh to take us out of our misery. Hoping for just a moment the pain will stop, forgetting all your worries and letting it all melt away. All the while not seeing that we then depend of the things that bring us relief because it is the only way we know how to cope. Walking around like zombies hopped up on drugs that do more harm than good. Depression is simply a soul sickness. Once you address that cause of the sickness it will all go away, just like that.

You have to find yourself, live the life that you want to live. Come out of the closet, quit that job you hate, clear out your friends list, over haul your life. Clear out the clutter, the noise, and the negativity energy that has been keeping you down. This is YOUR life take control of it. Stop listening to that voice in your head, it is a liar! Every time a negative thought comes to mind, quickly switch to a positive one. It won’t be easy, but don’t give up!

Love yourself, find a place within you that you can find comfort and a home. Forgive yourself for the things you have and haven’t done, it’s time to move forward. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a work in progress. Once you start to love who you are, everyone will notice it. People beaming the same energy as you will be attracted to you and you to them. What you seek is always seeking you. So why not seek out that loving positive energy.

So within, so without. How you feel about yourself will always become your reality. Everyone you meet has something to teach you, we are all here to learn from each other. Our friends, and lovers are all a reflection of ourselves; they act like mirrors. If you don’t like what you see, then you can always change it. You are only a prisoner to this live if you choose to be. Brake free, you hold the key!

Find your passions, find your purpose. Having a life of meaning and purpose is the easiest way to find happiness. Nurture your soul and spirit, show yourself love and kindness; and watch your life transform before your eyes. Just allow yourself to be in the present, get out of the past it holds you back and get out of the future, it hasn’t happened yet.

Depression is only a state of being, it is only permeant if you allow it to be. You are much more worthy and beautiful then you even realize. Anything is possible when you believe. Take action to change; put in the work, and you will find your way.



Is fear ruling your life?

For most of my adult life I have thought that majority of people were afraid of death, and that this fear ran their entire lives. That is why they choose to let ego take over, and just put it on cruise control. But this morning when I woke up a profound thought came into my mind, one that I have been thinking about all morning and felt compelled to write about.

We all know people fear death, they fear coming face to face with all the things they have done in this life but what if it goes deeper than that. What if, the real fear is the fear of living. The fear of truly feeling alive, and living a life they have always seen for themselves.

Death it’s peaceful, it’s the end of everything (at least for this life.) Ultimately, death is easy, its comfort, it is everything most cannot find in life; this is why it’s so attractive. Living is hard, it’s challenging, painful, and raw. At times it can be downright miserable but it can also be the most blissful experience your soul as ever had.

Life & death are nothing to be fearful of. We all must live and we all must die. If you live a life of kindness, and compassion than death has no meaning. The sad reality for most is they are hard, cruel and self-involved. For these people I simply say, death is not what you have to fear, karma is. The force of the universe is you get what you give, karma cannot be escaped from, or paid off. She will always find you, even if it is not in this life; and even she is not to be feared. If you have dished out an endless amounts of hate, you should willingly take the hate that is then given to you; since that is what you attracted.

We do these things to ourselves, and most of the time it is without knowing or understand that we have. The law of attraction is what you think will come to be. If you think of all the things you don’t what to happen, that that what you will attract into your life. If you instead focus on all the things you wish to bring into your life, then that is what will find you. To quote The Dirty Heads “The love that you give will be repaid in full…” Everything will find its way back to you, so if for no other reason be kind, and show compassion for others. Living in fear only take you out of the present, you cannot enjoy life while living in fear. Take each moment of your life and cherish it; each breathe is a gift.

We are all struggling with life, we don’t need to be the reason someone feels worse about themselves. We are here to pick others up off the ground, to lend a helping hand, or a shoulder to cry on. We are all in this together. We have chosen different paths for ourselves, different reason for being on this beautiful earth. Remember your purpose, find your passion and let yourself shine!




P.S. – I love you, I hope you are inspired by the words I send to you. Never give up and never loose focus. Dream big and make it happen! xoxo

You’re alive, Go Live

I don’t want to remembered as a wife, daughter, or mother. I am so much more than any of these things, they do not define my spirit, or who I am.

They, like all labels aren’t easily removed once placed on someone. They are a part of society that is false and scared of differences. For the most part labels are put onto others out of fear, or the simple fact that everyone has a category they belong in. This way of thinking is the reason why so many people are sad, depressed and even suicidal. Most of us, myself included do not fit into any one box. So we are grown to think that this is wrong of us, that we are ugly or wrong for not fitting in. It took me many years to understand that not fitting in was a blessing, look around at all the unauthentic people walking around. I now take pride in being an outcast, hippie, misfit, gypsy whatever you want to call me. It simply means I can love the things I love without being sorry for it. I can be myself, and be loved for it. Take pride in yourself, you are a beautiful goddess. You have so much beauty to bring to the world, I wish that you would see it.

Don’t think so little of yourself, this gives others permission to do the same; and you are worth so much more than that. You are amazing, magically radiant; you’re worthy and capable. You can do ANYTHING you set your mind to. Stop telling yourself you can’t believe that you can, and you will. Tell yourself everyday how beautiful and wonderful you are, fake a smile if you have to. Do this everyday, and you wont be faking it anymore. Fake it until you make it, or in the case fake it until you believe it. You are a goddess, made of stardust, you are everything you’ve ever needed. You are alive for a reason, go live your life!

I want to be remembered for everything I have done, all the love I shown the world, for the funny moments, for my smile, and for the light that follows me where ever I go. I want to be remembered as someone who saw all the suffering in the world and made a difference. Someone who made the world a little brighter, warmer and gave everyone a reason to smile.

Magical Year

We are 5 days into the New Year and so far things are wonderful. Since giving up meat I have felt so free and light; not to mention how proud I am of myself to do something I have always wanted to do. Every day is a new day and a new adventure. I am not one to make New Year resolutions, for me they always fail; and I don’t see the point of waiting until a new year to change your life, there is no better time than the present.

With every breathe I take I become free from all the fears that have always held me back. I feel more like myself than I ever have; each day I am a better version of myself. It’s like I have stripped away all the parts of false parts of myself; now only my true self shines through; she is more beautiful than I could have ever imagined. The fire inside of me has come alive stronger than ever before. I know see clearly, it’s up to me to make my dreams come true. I am the master and creator of my destiny; making my dreams come true is exactly what I indeed to do. I have already started on this path in sharing my thoughts with all of you; writing is my passion. There is a purpose for that, and I see this more than ever. I am here to help inspire, change and give hope to the world. I have been given this gift and I won’t waste it; I want all of you to the find a place of peace and love within yourselves.

I see and feel myself changing every day, lighter and freer than the previous day. The warrior goddess inside of me has been awakened and with each release I feel her getting stronger. I am beginning to trust my instincts and intuition.  I refuse to let anyone dampen my spirit or bring me down; this is the year I kick fear in the face. I am ready to jump into life and live. To finally get rid of the fears that hold me back from feeling alive. New experiences and new people will be the theme for this year. Doing what makes ME happy, forgetting what others say or think. Everything that I do will be for ME and I refuse to apologize for it. I will let new experiences shape me, knowledge change me, smile often and love always.

Here’s to a Magical Year!

Materialistic Christmas

In the next few days Christmas will be here; a holiday that has been shoved down our throats since before thanksgiving. Now don’t get me wrong, Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. All the lights, flowers, colors and coziness that comes to mind, are all so comforting to me. I just don’t like how it’s become more about consumerism and less about giving.

As a child growing up I loved Christmas not only for all the things I listed above but also because the family would get together; it was the one time of year were I got to see everyone and we would all get along (for the most part). I would get to go shopping with my grandmother, cook and bake with her. These memories are the ones I cherish so dearly. Things are so different now; it’s been 16 years since my grandmother passed away. She was the glue that held everyone together, a concept I had never realized or understood until she passed away. Now I don’t see my family unless someone dies, or gets married. Family is so important, it is a key part of life but sadly most of us cannot get passed the earthly distractions that surround us. So ultimately we drift apart and become strangers.

Now that I am grown up with a family of my own, I see everything so differently. I feel like the majority has forgotten about kindness, compassion and giving. All that matters is getting that newest television and the latest greatest technically.  Greedy and quite literally running people down to get what they want; the companies that rule the world, and quite frankly rule us, want us to be this way. Bringing out the worst qualities in humanity, when we act this way they have control over us and our money. It is a true tragedy to see; most of us fall into this trap and don’t even realize it. Comfortable in our materialism and too blind to feel or see the truth.

As I have stated before, I am not religious, I do not celebrate Christmas because it is the lord and savors birthday (or so they say). I celebrate Christmas because I love to give to others, even though I do not have much money and cannot give a lot, it still feels wonderful. It is not about what you give, or how large the gift is, it is about it coming from the heart. It’s about the gift having meaning and thought put into it; those are the gifts I love the most. Christmas for me is not about going into debt buying crap that someone doesn’t want or need. For me it is the joy and compassion, that little glimmer of hope that I have for us all.

I may not have a lot but there is always someone worse off than I am. So I am grateful for all that I do have, and will gladly give to someone worse off than myself. So this holiday season please, look around if you see someone that needs help, help them. Flash a smile to everyone you see.  Stop judging and let your heart guide you. Spread love and kindness this holiday season, and throughout the year. These are the best gifts of all.

Letter to myself

I was looking through old photos last night, and in doing this I can across and old photo of myself. I must have been 18 in the photo. In looking at this photo, I smiled and began to think of how much I have changed in those 11 years.

So I write to my 18 year old self, I see how sad you are. I see how confused and lost you are, but I am here to tell you everything will be okay. I know you simply urn for unconditional love, and to be accepted. Little do you know all which you crave is inside of you. This is a lesson that will take you many years to fully understand; you cannot find love in another until you have found it in yourself. You can try to love yourself through another but it will never give you the satisfaction you crave, or need. You will think that things can’t get any worse, but they will. When you have reached the bottom there is nowhere to go but up, you cannot live in light without first living in the dark. Remember that, it will comfort you.  You will never lose hope in love; you know that the love you desire is just a moment away. This is something I have always loved so much about you, your undying hope. Just remember everything you have ever wanted is at your fingertips, you just have to be willing to do the work to reach it.

To my future self, I am looking forward to all the beautiful things you have in store for me. I am on this course of life, which every day I learn and feel something new. Every day is a new experience, a new way of seeing the world, and myself. I feel so light and free, liberated from the old skin I’ve worn for so long. I will remember when you reach the top there is nowhere to go but down, so I will stay humble and enjoy every second of bliss that is given to me.  I will cherish the dark times for all the lessons they give me. There are many things I wish to achieve with you but most of all, and probably the most importantly I wish to achieve a legacy of love behind me.  Love is what lives within me; it encompasses my soul, and transcends light throughout my being.

Everything you go through is meant to happen the way is has, everything is a lesson and a growth process. Enjoy all that is given to you, take nothing for granted and be free. Fill every moment with love, laughter and always remember to smile.


As my birthday and thanksgiving approach this week I find myself looking back at life. All the things I am thankful for, and just how much everything has changed.

It’s funny to me, little things change each day. They don’t seem to be too significant, just little changes here and there. But when you look back at everything, it’s totally different. Maybe you thought you’re somewhere you’d never thought you be, or you’re the person you never thought you could be. Things little happen to us each day that affect us. Life has a way of molding us into what it wants us to be. It is only us that define if it’s positive or negative. We decide the outcome of each moment; the outcome of our lives. With each passing event we choose how it will affect us; we choose what we cling to and what we let go of. It is simply all up to us.  This way of thinking is so refreshing to me, that I control the outcome of my life. Knowing that everything happens for a reason puts me at ease; that there are no mistakes, only lessons. You never really loose in the game of life, you only grow wiser and stronger.

There are positive things that happen every day, yet we put so much time and effort into the negative. Playing the pity game of poor me, and complaining about how awful life is. Negative is easy, it requires little to no thought, it’s comfortable, and it’s easy to get sucked into. It is easier to judge everyone else, than to judge yourself. I get it, it just isn’t okay with me. It doesn’t settle well with in me, I cannot be so lazy that I am controlled by mindlessness.

Seeing the brighter side of things will always be the way I choose, looking on the positive side makes me feel whole and complete; knowing that there is good to be found in everything. Just think of how beautiful the world would be if everyone gave into the light as easily as they give into the negative. If we all had empathy, kindness and endless love for one another; think of all that we would accomplish as a species. It would be incredibly beautiful, the true essence of humanity shining so blighting.


Brake free

The things I hide, the pain that I feel will go away. I no longer need pain to feel alive, or human. When pain comes my way I will feel it, find the lesson and then move on from it. Pain is not meant to define us; it only meant to teach us. Love is what defines us, how freely we love, even if we do not get it in return.  We all have something to teach one another. Love and laughter are the purest parts of the human experience.

I want to break away from the same traps that have always gotten the best of me. I will break away, I will be free.


Last night I had a dream of a woman, she spoke to me. I believe her to be one of my spirit guides but I am unsure. She told me that I am a light worker that I always have been. I am close to finding my life’s work/or density. She told me that I need to listen to the whole sentence. Then I woke up. This is the first dream I have remembered in weeks, so I know that this is impactful in some way; or has a meaning to it. So I am looking deeper within to find the true meaning.

The first thought that comes to my mind is the when someone is talking to me and I am over the topic I stop listening. I know they are still talking but I have no interest in engaging in this conversation so I shut it out. This happens often with my husband, I asked to move to the next topic and he doesn’t. So I just stop listening, and stop talking. Another way I take this is that I need to stay open to the words and thoughts of others that are unlike my own. That just because they do not see the world as I do doesn’t mean there options are less meaningful or truthful. To not discount another because I could learn something; or see something from an entirely different perspective. Most often truths are found from talking to another that are unlike us. If both parties stay open to the possibility of growth then there is knowledge to be gained. It is only when we stop listening that we block ourselves off and everything is lost.

I asked the spiritual group that I am in about this dream that I had, and one person said that it could mean to hear not only with our ears but with our hearts as well. In this time of great difference we must show others the way of the heart. Take time to listen fully; don’t put your own spin onto what others are saying. If you have questions, ask. If you don’t understand what someone says or why they think this way, ask. Slow down; take everything in before coming to your conclusion. Don’t be so quick to judge, and you may be surprised what you find. What is important is how I allow it to affect me, how it opens my eyes to the world around me; to new outlooks and perspectives of life. To slow down, to see things from the eyes of another; love and understanding are what we need now. I see that now.

There is much turmoil in the states right now, so much that’s affecting the collective. We all must slow down and take the time to hear what people are telling us. See things from a different point of view. Put yourself in the shoes of another. We all must come from a place of love and not fear. Fear is what has gotten us to where we are; only love can break through. Find positivity in your space, slow down and find happiness in your own life. By doing something as simple as that, you will spread that to everyone around you. Love is the only way, It is clearer to me than ever.

We still need awakened

What this American election has taught me is that there is still many people that need to be awakened. They still live in a fear state, and by choosing “the lesser of two evils” they don’t realize that they are still evil. Evil is a term that doesn’t even resonate with me, I feel like that is a man-made term to describe negativity; to install fear into each of us.

The election has shown me just how badly this country needs a positive change. How divided we truly are; it’s shown me how alive sexism, homophobia, sexual assault, and racism are. It weights heavy on my heart. I am not sure how the rest of you feel about this but that fact Americans thought the best choice for us was someone who embodies these things, it’s very disappointing and saddening. I am not a political person; I am not here to debate or argue. None of that gets you anywhere anyway; people only talk to be heard. I simply follow my morals and what feels true in my heart. That is how I have always lived my life and will always continue to. I wear my heart on my sleeve so that I stay connected to it.

Though I am sad at the moment, I have faith in the universe and in the divine. In order to find paradise we must first go through destruction. I feel like this was a huge turning point for us, and we decide the outcome.