I recently came across an article that talked about having three loves in a lifetime. I had never thought of love in that way, we all love but I never thought of how different each love is for us. I know that I loved many times in my life but looking at it now, I’ve loved in very different ways. There haven’t been many times in my life that I can say I was truly and completely in love. Often times the lines of love and lust got blurred. In my experience I have found that lust can never last the test of time, the foundation it is built upon is fragile and weak. It is only meant to be a short story in our lives, however I will admit that there have times when I knew it wasn’t right but stayed in it anyways, mistaking it for love, only seeing what I wanted to see was always my greatest weakness. So many of us want to be loved so badly by another, to receive what we have always desired yet we look for it in the wrong people. We are told that love is all about fireworks and butterflies but is it? I have had these feelings before and they haven’t stood the test of time.
This is how my first love began and ended. The story of my first love was one of unfulfillment, pain and struggle. He was my knight in shining armor, the one who scooped me up and rescued me from a life that I hated. It was the whole fairy tale image, it looked good on the outside but being in it was nothing like the fairy tales I had read as a child. It’s the love I stayed in because it mattered more to me that we looked happy than actually being happy. I didn’t love myself enough to say this is not what love is because I didn’t know what love was, I only had an idea of what it should be. I was young and naive, I thought that time was something that mattered in love and that with time would only bring more love. Even if had never existed in the first place.
Then there was my second love, the one I wanted to be right. The one I wanted it to work with so badly that I forced it for as long as I could. It’s the one that had exceptional highs and the lowest of lows. I fought so hard for this love, it’s the one I didn’t want to let go of. It’s the love I felt deeper than the one before it, the one I felt a connection with, the one I thought would last a lifetime. At first this love felt perfect, I was all in from the beginning but somewhere along the way our paths begin to separate. This love allowed me the time to find myself, who I was and what I wanted. This love had given me the soul growth I needed, and it’s because of this I could see how love would change me. Perhaps that is why I held on for so long even though this love had fallen short of my expectations.
This is the love that I believe most of us stay in because we think it couldn’t be any better than this, or maybe we get hooked on the excitement of the high and attached to the pain of the low, knowing the roller-coaster ride will continue on a never ending loop. We become comfortable on this ride, knowing what is ahead. There is no unknown in this love, and for some of us that is okay. I am not one of them. I crave the unknown, I long for excitement in love, and I desire a love so strong that nothing can break it. A love so profound that it grows deeper with each breath I take, with every kiss and with each look into my lovers eyes. This is what I have found in my third love.
It’s a love that has broken every preconceived notion I had about love. It came in unexpectedly, seemingly out of nowhere, with a man I never saw coming. This love has captured my soul in such a deep and profound way that I find myself amazed everyday by it. I am forever changed by the love I feel and the love I am given. It has allowed me to see myself in such a way of raw truth and honesty that I desire to be the highest, best version of myself. There is no stormy weather, it’s a place of peacefulness, calmness and authenticity that I never thought love could be. I am accepted exactly as I am in all of my imperfections and with all of my broken pieces. I know see that I had to find out what I thought was love in order to find what love is.
This is the love I wish all of us find in our lifetime. We all deserve this kind of love and it is possible for each of us to attain it. When we make the hard choices for the right reasons, we are always rewarded. Even if the path looks dark, is unknown and you are completely lost, keep moving forward that is how life changing events are created. When we lean on our faith, when we use it as a tool of hope and inspiration we will always be shown the way, we just have to listen. It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been with someone, love doesn’t care about time. There is no achievement award for love, especially for those that have stayed in a partnership that died long ago. Love shows up when it’s ready for you, it comes in when you least expect it and in a person you think it could never work with. Allow love, allow your faith to lead the way; when we do this anything is possible.