Illusion of life

Death is the illusion that after our body no longer functions that it’s the end for us; the permeate end, never experiencing anything again.  For me this is simply that, an illusion. Something that man has created to push us towards worshiping a god, looking to the sky for answers. When all the answers we seek can be found not in a man living in the heavens, but within ourselves.

To me the thought of heaven being home is simply our souls in the true form, without a body to cage us in. It is not a place where little babies in diapers dance on clouds; it is simply the where our souls exist. The thought of death is something I do not believe, when my body turns weak and burns out my soul will live on. I will return to my blissful, peaceful state of being. I will live again in another body, in another way. My soul does not die, so “death” is only a part of my soul’s evolution.

As most of you know I am not a religious person, when I hear people talking of God I simply switch it out for universe. To me that makes so much more sense than the stories of a man, a demi god really, coming to save all of those who worship him. Man is always looking for a reason to be the best they can be but why can’t we just be decent human beings for none other than for love. Why is it that man needs an excuse or reason to be decent? Is it because they aren’t truly that way but feel compelled or obligated to be decent? Always afraid of being judged by everyone, even by God when the times comes; I feel as if this all seems far too complex for it to be truth.

Whatever you believe the purpose of life is to learn and grow. Learn from all those around you, even those that you do not get along with. We have lessons to learn from all of those around us. To grow the soul through whatever means necessary; we choose to have bodies so that we can experience pain and hurt. The meaning of life is to find love within yourself for yourself and all those around you. To find your calling, and let it transform your life in beautiful ways; to live simply and to simply live.

As I have said before, life is easy it is us that complicate it. Sit back, relax, take in the beauty and just breathe.



Shifting into what is

What a week this has been already, and its only Wednesday. As most of you know about two weeks ago my husband got a second degree burn while at work on his hand. Well today is his first day back to work, he is on modified duty but he is happy (and so am I) to go back to work. He has to wear a glove to protect it from the sun but I think he is well on the road to recovery.

Beyond that there has been a lot of things stirring up with me. Yesterday was one of those days where I felt it the worst. With all the time I had been spending taking care of hubby, I had put myself on the back burner, which I now know was the worst thing I could have done. I lost my center, and my balance, which for me is rather hard to find once lost.  I spent most of the day aggravated and annoyed for reasons that I didn’t know. I saw myself getting frustrated by the smallest things, without reason. So I got away from everyone, and just read my book. I knew that something was going on internally that had to be released but it wasn’t time, yet.

I have felt a shift on the horizon for quite some time now, and yesterday was proof of that. Bringing old patterns that no longer serve me to the surface to be released. I saw this proved to me, many times yesterday. First there was the voice in my head saying “You should drive separate so you can get errands done while his car gets inspected.”  My husband had to his yearly car inspection done yesterday which should of only been a half hour, but he needed work done so it took 4 hours instead. I ignored the voice in my head, so we had to call his mother to come cart us around. Had I listened, it would have been no big deal.

The second sign I should have listened to is when I told myself “Speak up! Tell him how you feel! Find your voice, use it!” My husband was annoying me, and just over all bothering me but instead of saying anything I just pushed it down. The little voice in my head that used to tell me negative things is now encouraging me to use my voice; it’s encouraging me to grow and change in ways I truly need to. Old patterns coming forth to be transformed into light, making room for more positivity in your life; this is the message I hear. Which all seems to be a part of the shift that’s coming; its gets stronger and stronger by the day. Another thing that has been very clear to me lately is the fact that I am not this body. I am a living energy that is only dwelling within this organic machine until I am done here. When I look through these eyes I think “Wow! I am here again, I forgot how beautiful it is here.” When I see my arm moving I think “This is my arm, wow. I can move it, how incredible.” I am in awe over everything like I am seeing it all for the first time. Completely conscious and aware that I am a spirit having a human experience, seeing the world around me in such a new beautiful way.

Seeing more with my eyes, than with my heart. My heart sees the hopes I have for everyone but my eyes, they see beyond the mask of illusion. They see the parts that everyone wants to keep hidden, they see the truth. I don’t know what it is that is shifting and happening but I can tell you I am loving and embracing it. I see a lot of wonderfully beautiful things ahead for all of us, if  we so choose them.


Have a stunning day!


Connect within

I have been so unlike myself in so many ways. Becoming everything I am, and discarding everything I am not. With that comes a huge transition, one of which I wasn’t prepared for.

I cry so often now, not because I’m sad but because everything is so beautiful. I am easily moved to tears by even the simplest of things. Gentle, and soft is who I’ve been lately. I am still rough around the edges but, for now at least, they seem to be unimportant.

There have been moments, often just as I wake up, where I think of how lucky all of us are to be alive. All the wonderful things we are capable of; all the beauty that lives within us. This human experience is something so different from any other. As I see through my eyes, I wonder how others see the world and what filters they still have attached to their eyes. I see the world differently than most, I know. Seeing all the beauty that is surrounds us, the butterfly sitting in the sun warming his wings, the caterpillar crossing the road, the birds singing, the baby deer prancing across the field but how do others see? Do they focus on the negative side of life, or the positive? What moves them to tears? What sadness do they carry with them? These are all things I think about in my time alone.  It is just absolutely incredible to me how we even exist in the first place, what a magical experience indeed.

I find myself wondering how I got here, to this beautiful place and how lucky I am to be surrounded with love. Love that I’ve carved into my life and into my soul. The closer I become my true self, the stronger I feel the connected I am to all things. I have never had so much confidence or self-love; now wondering why I ever treated myself so harshly to begin with.

A lot of things have changed, myself included. I am never the same person from day to day; my transformation is proof of that. I have learned so much in life but what I see more clearly than ever is love is the true magic of the universe. It can brake all barriers, it can defeat hate and it fills us with more bliss then we knew existed. Love multiples, it is contagious once ignited and what a beautiful sight to see indeed.


There is no try, there is only action

Over the past few weeks I may have been transforming in so many ways spiritually, emotionally and internally that it’s been hard to keep track of what’s what. The one thing that I have noticed myself doing more and more of is visualizing everything I want to happen in able to bring it closer to me. I have also stopped using “try” and “if” they are words that only hold you back and don’t allow you to attract your full potential.

I have found visualization to be a powerful tool for me, noticing it working in little ways like making all the traffic lights turn green for me as I cruise down Main Street. This may seem so simple, that it is almost silly to think I am doing this, perhaps it is a simple coincidence but perhaps it isn’t. Me seeing all the lights being green in my mind, and then having them all turn green only proves to me that what I am doing is really truly working. The universe will do whatever it can to make you a believer and for me this is mine. I have now begun to visualize almost everything, I can see the future I want for myself that I know one day I will achieve it.

With the end of using “try” and “if” I have only feel my visualizations grow stronger and clearer. I am not trying to do anything, I simply am doing it. I put all that I have into something, so that I can do it. There is no trying, there is only action. There are so many what if’s in life, we think about them so often and even discuss them with others but why?  Looking at life this way is like looking through a glass half full wishing that it was completely full. It doesn’t make any sense and only hold you back. There is no longer if this happens scenario for me, there is only when this happens. Affirming that I believe and know that it will happens only attracts it to me more. Belief is a powerful tool, when used properly it can aid you in making all of your dreams come true.

I wanted to share this with all of you as I know from experience that things get tough and life gets hard. We doubt ourselves, put ourselves down, and even get in our own way but I am here to tell you that you don’t have to. You can do anything as long as you put the work in. Be clear on what you want to do, and how you can achieve it. Stop using “try” and “if” and replace them with “I am” and “when” a positive mindset is the key to happiness and joy. Don’t let the hard times get you down, instead allow them to only make you work harder and strive for success and happiness.




Take on depression

What is depression, really!? Why are so many affected by it; there is a reason why it’s the top leading illness in the world but why?

By ignoring our soul’s purpose, we are killing our spirits. By staying in places that aren’t meant for us or with people who bring us no joy, we are killing our spirits. We aren’t always meant to be where we want to be and it can be difficult to let go; but its’ killing us.

By living a lie, and being a fake version of ourselves, we are killing our spirits. When you live a life that isn’t true to you, you can never find true happiness. You may find little blips of happiness here and there but it never stays and it never lasts long. The blips are simply there to show you how your life could be, if you could see that you hold the key to your happiness.

Instead we rely on alcohol, drugs and passions of the flesh to take us out of our misery. Hoping for just a moment the pain will stop, forgetting all your worries and letting it all melt away. All the while not seeing that we then depend of the things that bring us relief because it is the only way we know how to cope. Walking around like zombies hopped up on drugs that do more harm than good. Depression is simply a soul sickness. Once you address that cause of the sickness it will all go away, just like that.

You have to find yourself, live the life that you want to live. Come out of the closet, quit that job you hate, clear out your friends list, over haul your life. Clear out the clutter, the noise, and the negativity energy that has been keeping you down. This is YOUR life take control of it. Stop listening to that voice in your head, it is a liar! Every time a negative thought comes to mind, quickly switch to a positive one. It won’t be easy, but don’t give up!

Love yourself, find a place within you that you can find comfort and a home. Forgive yourself for the things you have and haven’t done, it’s time to move forward. Don’t be so hard on yourself, you’re a work in progress. Once you start to love who you are, everyone will notice it. People beaming the same energy as you will be attracted to you and you to them. What you seek is always seeking you. So why not seek out that loving positive energy.

So within, so without. How you feel about yourself will always become your reality. Everyone you meet has something to teach you, we are all here to learn from each other. Our friends, and lovers are all a reflection of ourselves; they act like mirrors. If you don’t like what you see, then you can always change it. You are only a prisoner to this live if you choose to be. Brake free, you hold the key!

Find your passions, find your purpose. Having a life of meaning and purpose is the easiest way to find happiness. Nurture your soul and spirit, show yourself love and kindness; and watch your life transform before your eyes. Just allow yourself to be in the present, get out of the past it holds you back and get out of the future, it hasn’t happened yet.

Depression is only a state of being, it is only permeant if you allow it to be. You are much more worthy and beautiful then you even realize. Anything is possible when you believe. Take action to change; put in the work, and you will find your way.



Reason for my absence

It has been a crazy past few days, for those of you who do not follow me on Instagram (@bohemianexplorerblog), I will let you know what has been going on.

Last Friday my husband was injured at work; he is the jack of all trades really. He has electrical experience from his time in the Navy, knowing this his boss sent him out to help someone work an electrical panel. He went to check the voltage, and an arc flash happened. Now I had no idea what that was before all of this, and I still can’t explain it. All I know is that the pictures that came up on goggle were freakin scary, and really showed me how lucky he was to be alive. Everything is a lesson and for me the lesson was to not take him and our love for granted because we truly have something special.

I met him and his boss at the ER, when I saw how his hand was burned I felt so bad; I just wanted him to feel better. The ER didn’t really have much knowledge for burns so they sent him to a burn center. He spent the night there but luckily came home Saturday. He has second degree burns on his hand, and that is it. What a true blessing, it could have been so much worse. My husband has many angels that watch over him and care for him, he is a truly incredibly blessed man. As this is not the first time his angels have stepped in to help and protect him.

Because of his burns his hand is hypersensitive to sunlight and heat, so we decided to go to the movies yesterday. We went to see Wonder Woman, which my husband ended up falling asleep to because of his pain meds but I enjoyed it. It was refreshing to see a beautiful, strong woman on the big screen. It helps redefine the stereotypes that are placed on woman; like a woman can either be beautiful and stupid or smart and ugly but can never be both; but Wonder Woman is beautiful and smart, along with many other things. She shows woman, young and old, that you do not need a man to save you; you are very capable of saving yourself. You can be a goddess, strong, beautiful, independent, and confidant but at the same time you can still be soft, gentle, caring, and loving.

There were many times in the film when Wonder Woman would go into a room filled with men and they’d ask why a woman was in here. Which is how most of society works, men are superior to woman. Woman are still treated less than equal if you simply pay attention. Most men seem to think that woman are not capable of doing things as they are, and wonder woman shows them that she is far more capable than they are. I can see how some people would say something about feminism here, which is a word that I truly dislike. I much rather prefer girl power over feminism. I feel like they are so many taboos or negative thoughts implied with the word. Girl power, for me, sounds so much more empowering and appealing. I would love nothing more than to see woman rise up to their full potential.

“It is what you believe that matters, not what people deserve” that line really stood out to me, it is so spot on. If you believe that love will save the world, then it will. You will put love into everything you do, and everything that are. That is why woman are so magical and powerful, we can be given just about anything and make it better. We can be given a house and make it a home, we can be given sperm and we will make a child, we can be given a broken heart and we can mend it with love. That to me, is why woman are goddesses, we are everything.

Shine your light ladies, become everything you were meant to be. Become the goddess you are. Find her and never let go of her.



What is “normal”?

I find the term “normal” mundane and boring leaving little chance for happiness and soul exploration. How can anyone find themselves if they are told they have to fit in a mold, no matter what conforming does to them. It’s no wonder so many people are unhappy. “Normal” to me is overrated and I don’t truly understand the meaning of “normal”. I am weird by nature, loving crystals, sage, hula hooping, and energy work. So would that my standard or level of “normal” since it is “normal” to me? For someone who is into fashion, or trends my view of “normal” would be abnormal, and vice versa. So is “normal” based solely on our perspective and options; if that is true than why aren’t we allowed to find our own sense of “normal”?

The concept of “normal” can be found on television, or in magazines, believing everything you read or see to be true. Thus living your life according to what you see and read. Setting your expectation of life to be higher than your reality, leading to life being unfulfilling and unhappy. That sadly has become the truth for many of us. Don’t believe everything you’re told or read. Look beyond the illusion, and look within yourself for the answers.

 Find your truths, your passions and what makes your soul come alive. Form your own level of “normal”; and live in a “normal” that you can be happy in. Don’t let others set it for you, that is a sure fire way to end up unhappy. Break the mold, unconform, be true to you and find your place. It’s okay to brake some rules in life, and this is one of them.

A page from my journal

Right now I am in a strange place, kind of like I’m in limbo. Slowly moving out of the old, and into the new but as I move I’m stuck in both worlds. Vulnerability is mostly what I feel, the urge of wanting to hide but standing tall anyways. Scared to the death of how exposed I am but finding it freeing and liberating at the same time. The little voice in my head keeps reminding me “Things are not as scary as they seem. Keep going.” I keep using this as as a reminder, and the thing that keeps me pushing forward. There is no time to hide, there is no time to stay in one place, there is only time for courage, bravery and finding my authentic truths. I know that as I transform, I will grow stronger and shine brighter than ever. It’s just while I await the day I blossom, I sit here anxiously, finding comfort in mediation, my dog and my husband. As they already see my scars and wounds and love me despite them. Mediation is where I can center and fall into myself; where I can relive my past so that I may release it. Feeling empty as each piece of hurt and pain leave my body. It will take time to replenish my energy in these spaces.  This is why I am unable to help anyone right now, I am truly in the process of truing into a beautiful butterfly, and right now I am building my cocoon. This is a truly whole new realm for me; I can see myself changing each day. Like there is a loading bar in my head and the update is not yet complete. I am becoming more overcome with love, and annoyed by the negative. I understand now more than ever how much love is all there is and without it, we have nothing. I feel blessed and humbled by all the universe has given to me, and allowed me to experience. What a truly spectacular gift.