Its just a phase

“It’s just a phase”, this is something my mother used to say to me all the time growing up. It used to bother me that she did not understand me, or the things that I loved.

She started saying this when I was around 17 or 18, when I was a teenager I worked at a hair salon so I was always dying my hair different funky colors, along with crazy styles. Before this I had always had long hair (about mid back length) and I never dyed my hair or done anything with it. Which let me just say, I believe my hair is beautiful naturally, to me it just needed a touch of color. It became of way to express myself and have fun; I mean it is one the easiest ways to transform yourself on the outside.

When I was 18 I didn’t tell my parents and I got my lip pierced.  My friend who went with me was even surprised that I had gone through with it but it was something that I wanted so I did it, no questions asked. I always thought that it was cute, that it added to my face in an elegant way. After getting my lip pierced, I got my first tattoo. It is 3 stars on my right forearm; it’s simple and not much to it. I again did not tell my parents what I was doing; I just did it because I wanted to. When I returned home my mother said “what did you do!?” I showed her, and I don’t remember what she said but soon after that she started to say “it’s just a phase” or “I can’t wait for this phase to pass” which in some way upset me. I felt as if she loved me less because I did what I wanted to my body. When I was about 19 or 20 I started to gauge my ears, again it was something I wanted to do, so I did. Which again she did not understand; the thing is I never asked permission from anyone, I simply did it because I wanted to. No one else’s option mattered to me.

Since then I have had my hair a lot of different colors, and cut a lot of different ways. I have even been called a chameleon because my hair changes so often. I no longer have my lip pierced, which I miss sometimes. But I finally have my ears at a 2 gauge, which I love. When I finally went up from a 4 to a 2 gauge, putting those gauges it felt so right. As if I was always meant to gauge my ears, I finally felt like I was completing myself in ways only I knew how. Since my first tattoo at 18, I have several more, all of which have a meaning and I love.

So here is my message to all of you that get told” it is just a phase” that you will outgrow it and when you do you will hate it. Don’t listen to the people that say those things. Family often judges the harshest because they do not understand, and that it is okay. The things you do they aren’t meant to understand, love them even though they judge you. Love them, so you can love yourself. Trust in yourself, if something touches you in such a profound way you should never let go of that. People will say what they will to make themselves feel better, so they can cope with the change. Do what makes you happy, do what makes you feel complete and do what makes you love yourself because at the end of the day that is all that matters. You have to live with yourself, and you’re the only one that can make yourself happy.

Always come from a place of love, be kind and gentle with yourself and others and it will be always be returned to you.

New Video is Up!

This video is simple and from the heart, and decided not to talk the whole time.

I hope all of you decide to stop the endless cycle of self hate, and unworthiness.

Its time to shine your beauty upon the world

Let your self shine!

I love all of you, my mission is to uplift you & show you its never to late to change

love is always the answer and it lies within all of us.

Be the beautiful being you were meant to be

Thank you everyone, you have inspired my life


Instagram/ bohemianexplorerblog   Facebook/ bohemainexplorer


If you stand for nothing, you’ll fall for anything

If you stand for nothing, you will fall for anything; this is something I have always believe to be true. It isn’t about picking a side on this or that, it’s about believing in something. Believing in it so strongly that you would stand up for it; you would fight for it, even if that means standing alone. To me, I feel most of us have lost the fight in us. We are complacent with how we imagine life to be, doing as we are told and believing it to be true without question; trusting that our doctors have our best intentions at heart. Believing what we see on television whether it be on the news, or in an ad. Believing everything we read on the internet to be true and factual, without doing any further investigating for ourselves.

One huge area I see in this is the whole vaccination debate. You see both sides fight and belittling each other over a stance they both to believe to be true. Rather than finding out all the facts on our own, and making an informed decision, we believe what we hear on the news and read on the internet (from websites that aren’t creditable) to be true.

For me, and I may be alone on this, I feel that we should look into everything that goes into our bodies, including vaccines. It isn’t a matter of anti or pro, republican or democrat, taking a side will not help the problem we’re facing; it only keeps up further from it. We must look beyond the lies of the news outlets, we must look beyond what we believe to be true, and we must look at both sides. If we stay divided than that only distracts us from what is truly going on, it only aids the government or whoever to keep us blinded, to keep us “in line” and if anyone disrupts the system they are made a fool of and are discredited.  If we want the truth we must stand together, we must stop the endless fighting and name calling, we must stop labeling woman “terrible mothers” simply because she disagrees with vaccine. After all we all want the same thing, healthy happy children.

We do so many things simply because we are told to, and I believe it to be out of fear. Fear is if we don’t do the “normal thing” that we be labeled and outcasted; that our children will not get the health providers they deserve, and the education they deserve. That simply from once choice, everything could be taken away from your child. This to me is not right and should not be acceptable; it is all a scare tactic. One that works all too well, which is why it continues; I wonder what we all would do if we were not ruled by fear. All the amazing things that would be done through courageous acts, through following our intuition; just think of all the things we do out of fear on a daily basis.

The funny thing is, most of us are so wrapped us in our day to day that we are blinded to the fear that holds us captive. Stuck in a cage for our entire lives, never really living and never really being happy; not knowing that we hold the key to unlock the cage and set ourselves free. But this too we are afraid of, afraid of everything we could be, afraid of all the change that comes along with it, afraid of failing, afraid of trying and afraid of ourselves. When you live a life a fear, you can never truly be happy. Happiness only comes when you take a leap of faith, and trust that everything will be okay.


We all have bad days

It’s funny how one day you are feeling wonderful and vibrant and the next it seems like an endless sea of darkness has come for you. On Easter Sunday I felt wonderful, my husband, Norman and I all decided we would go for a morning hike in one of my favorite forests. It’s an old forest, with ferns everywhere and mossy trees stumps; it is such a magical place.  We walked to the lake, and up the mountains; my husband said we must of walked 8 miles. It was wonderful to just be out surrounded by the trees, and be outside. So needless to say I was feeling free, light and optimistic about life in general. We had Easter dinner with my parents outside, which was a very enjoyable.

The next day I wake up and I feel the total opposite of everything I was feeling just hours earlier. I was judging myself harshly, I felt pessimistic and dark. I no long felt the universe was aiding me in achieving my dreams, even though I did not believe that to be true. I know that we are spiritual beings and that we are all meant to have down days, it was just strange that it seemingly came out of nowhere. Then I was told that the schumann resonance had peaked to its highest ever recorded state on Sunday, so I thought that was aiding in my feelings. I saw 12:12, smiled and thanked the universe for the gentle reminder that everything comes in time, and when we need it.

Then yesterday, the internet was out. So for us that means no computer, phone or tv (since we do not have cable.) It was a beautiful day so I figured I would go outside and get the work in the gardens done; it needed to be done and I had been putting it off. So I went to Lowes and go some flowers to add to the gardens, came home and went to town. I put on some music, brought normie outside, and played in the dirt. I spent just about all day outside, the gardens where in worse shape than I thought. By the end of the day I felt accomplished and wonderful again. It is crazy how easily sucked into the internet, it has an endless sea of knowledge yet so many of us know so little. So it’s nice to be disconnected for a day, I truly think I needed it.

I love how the universe works everything out, it was the only way to get me outside and do what needed to be done. I need some me time in the sun, I needed to ground, and needed to relax. The funny part is after all that was done and I got my shower the internet began to work again. It still cracks me up!!  Anyways, my point is things happen for a reason especially when we ignore what we are being told. The universe and our guides will make a point for us to get the message; you can only ignore things for so long.

Most people think just because you are positive or enlightened in any way that means you never have a bad day. It’s quite the opposite actually, you may have more bad days than ever before because you are dealing with, and moving on from all the crud you have kept hidden or locked away. The only way to find enlightenment is to first deal with everything inside you; the only difference is when you’re a spiritual or positive person you trust it, let it flow and let it go. You know you are strong enough to get through anything and that this too is just a test of your strength and your faith. Nothing happens by accident, everything has a purpose. Feel the sadness, understand it, and let it go. I have and I can tell you I feel better than ever. I am simply making room for light to live within me.


Have a blessed day everyone! Spread love & kindness everywhere you go!


April Full Moon

How is everyone feeling since the full moon last night? Did everyone feel the energy she gave off? How did she affect you?

For weeks pervious to the full moon I was feeling foggy, sluggish, exhausted and every bone in my body ached. I was having these bursts of anger coming seemingly out of nowhere; and over the littlest of things. I am not an angry person normally so this was very strange for me. I am usually the person that everyone goes to when they need lifted up, or just need to vent their sorrows. I am seemingly a beacon of light in cloud of darkness; this is why I am protective of my energy. And for the past few weeks I have not been that for everyone, I have been disconnected; wanted to be left alone in my own little world of haze while I undergo this transformation.

I am sure many of you know but for those that do not there are four planets in retrograde along with the full moon; it has been a dozy of a time for me and many others. I saw the effects of these magical energies even in those who are not spiritually minded. It was pretty wild to see, I understood what was happening and why I was feeling this way but for someone who doesn’t have a clue that had to of been an even rougher ride than what I experienced. I saw people getting angry for no reason, being very touchy ready to explode at any time, and just an overall short fuse. People were frustrated but didn’t know why; feeling like a cold was coming on but one never came. I smile as the observer watching all this happen around me, knowing that everything is working itself out the way it needs to.

Yesterday, the day of the full moon I had woken up with the sudden burst of energy; which was more energy than I had had in weeks. The weather could have also played a part in this since it was our first 80 degrees day this spring but it went deeper than that. Everything I had felt over the past weeks was gone, like it was never there at all. I was seeing clearer than before, filled with energy that didn’t seem to dissipate, the anger that had was once filled me was gone. I was happier, lighter and freer than ever before; I knew the first huge step in my transform was complete. I spent the day cleaning the house with the windows and doors open, to let all the fresh air in. When the evening came I prepared my full moon affirmations and all the things I wanted to release; my husband joined me for my ritual which was a nice treat. We light our white candle burned our sage and completed our ritual, as the paper burned I could feel all the energy being released and all the energy the moon had to offer me in its place. I took some deep breathes after it was completed and the candle had been put out, and it felt wonderful.

I told my husband before bed to not be surprised if he felt different in the morning or continue to release throughout the day today. In the middle of the night around 2 am I woke up hotter than hell. I was sweating bullets, had thrown all my covers off and was just lying there tossing and turning. I was unable to get comfortable or cool down, so I got the feeling something was going on beyond my control. About 25 minutes later I cooled off and fell back asleep, so I believe I had a massive release and that was my body way of letting it all go (which is what I asked for.) Funny how those things tend to work out, hence the saying “be careful what you wish for because you just might get it.” I haven’t talked to my husband yet so I am curious how the moons magic has affected him, if at all.

Today I feel better than ever, I have a sense or “feeling” of knowing that positive things are on their way. That everything I have worked so hard for is now ready to give me the fruits of my labor. The best is yet to come indeed, and it’s closer than ever.

Have a spectacular day everyone! Spread some love & some kindness to yourself & to others.


New Video, Hooping!

Hey you!

I figured for this weeks video I could stay with the theme of loving yourself and share with you what makes me love myself. Hooping!! In the video I tell you how it helps me in my daily life, and hows me on a personal level. I want  you to share what makes you love yourself!! I love seeing all the different ways people express themselves!

I hope you have a fantastic weekend, and a even better day!


p.s- Please feel free to share with anyone and everyone!

Life like dreams that stick with you

Okay darlings, I had a dream last night that I want to share. It was so vivid and real that it was like I was awake and it was really happening. I don’t know why I had this dream, as mine normally always have a meaning behind them. I don’t know if I shared a life with this person or what. But please tell me your take on this dream….

I was with the ghost adventure guys somewhere. We all laughing in the car but it was raining really hard and you couldn’t really see anything. So we pulled over for the rain to slow down. While we were waiting we decided to use thermal on this staircase up a hill just to see what we would get, if anything. So zak puts the thermal on and see a guy walking in shorts, just as he see it Billy yells out there is a guy is shorts up there. It sees is, it starts to run down the stairs. We think its a real person since we see it clear as day. Zak sees this thing run down the stairs, straight at him and when it reaches him its turns to a dark cloud and disappears. We all are shook up by what just happened. We get back in the car and I sit next to Billy. I look into his eyes, which are like a light brown color, and bam! I have feels for him, simply by looking into his eyes I see everything I have ever needed. Soon after that I start acting strange; I tell everyone that smoke is starting to affect me. I start crying, like ugly crying uncontrollably. I say “that bitch killed me, I can’t believe she did it” and everyone is looking at me with fear and excitement. They kept saying her eyes, they’ve changed. I saw a lot of red hot anger. I finally am able to get control over my body and kick the spirit out. I start saying “I am the light you have no power over me. Light radiates from every ounce of my being. I am light and love, i surround myself with it now.” I then am wearing a white slik dress, I am completely surrounded by white light. It’s coming from everywhere, especially my hands. I look over at Billy who is being affected by something negative and I can tell wants to harm me. I lay my hands on his hand and tell the spirit to leave this man; he has no room for negativity in his body. And he instantly said he feels better than he ever has. We finally get to the hotel, check in and there was a mix up with the rooms and we now have to share rooms. So as we walk up Billy asks if he can share a room with me. I say “Sure as long you don’t judge me for farting in my sleep, or anywhere in the room” we laugh and he says he wont. So we go into our room to find there is only one king bed. I told him that I didn’t mind sharing it’s a huge bed. So I got dressed for dinner and out of the clothes id been wearing since we got there. He gave me this look, and I knew that he’d seen the same thing in me that id seen in him. His eyes sparkled and he smiled and said “you are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever had the pleasure of sharing a room with” I laughed and said “I think that’s a complaint so I’m running with it, thank you” as I smiled. We went to dinner with everyone had some drinks and came back to the room. I tell him this is where the no judgement part comes in. I get in my pjs which is really a huge t-shirt and get in bed. I was watching tv and he got in bed and looked over at me. He turned off the tv and asked me to tell him about me. So I did….I told him about my late husband who had died a year earlier in a car accident. How much I loved him and always will but that I need to find love again for me. There are still so many things I want out of life. He asked if I wanted to cuddle and i told him before i fell asleep we could. He told me about himself, how he was divorced and never had the chance to have kids. Somewhere we began to kiss, which was a hardcore make out session. I took my glasses off and he said “You have the most beautiful eyes; I could look into them forever.” We cuddled and I told him “thank you” he sounded confused and said “for what?” I said “for everything. For making me feel so conformable with a car full of strangers; For being sweet and kid to me. I miss the tenderness of a man. So thank you for everything you are” he gave me a kiss on the check and said “You deserve it you’re one of a kind” he cuddle and I am trying to get comfortable so I shift my butt around. He says “If you keep doing that I will have something to poke you with” I laugh and say “oh god, I’m sorry” I get comfortable and fall asleep feeling the same way I feel when I cuddle with Mike. A bunch of stuff happened that I can’t remember so fast forward, our investigation is over and Billy asks me to come back to Las Vegas with him before I return home, i told him I would but only for a couple days as I need to return to Normie. We get to his house and remember being mesmerized by the beauty of it. We spend four days together, and we both had fallen in love with each other. He asks me to stay with him; I told him that I had to return home to PA. He said “it’s across the country, I will miss you. I don’t think I can live without you” I told him I’d miss him too but I don’t live here so we’ll have to make trips and visit each other. That’s when he says “move in with me, live here. I have plenty of room.” I am hesitant, but eventually I do move out there and live with him. One day I try calling him and cannot get ahold of him. I cant find him anywhere. He finally pops up at one of his friends’ houses and I ask him to please come home I have some important news. He comes home and I tell him I’m pregnant with twins. A boy and a girl. He smiles and seems so happy. He later asks me to marry him and I said ” are you asking me because you love me or is it because we are having children?” He says “Its because of both. I love you and would of asked you eventually but since we’re having children why wait!?” I smile tell him to get off his knee and stand up. I tell him “I love you so much. I never thought Id find this love for someone again. But I don’t want to rush it because of kids. I will marry you, I do accept but I want you to know there is no rush. Love is the one thing you don’t rush” he asked “so yes then?” I smiled and nodded yes. We were both so happy and he said “see what i mean your one of a kind” We both smile. I have the twins and I even saw their names. It was a crazy dream. Then towards the end people are after me because the kids aren’t human. (WHICH could be the xfiles interfering)

The crazy thing I have never noticed Billy from the show before. I HAD never dreamt of him or any of that before. Mike being dead is one of my fears so that’s probably why that was in there but the rest I had to google.  I went to a trusted website for dream interruption for twins, this is what I found dreaming of fraternal twins may reflect problems with making a choice between two similar, yet different feeling options. Which makes sense to me since the things I do are for the love I have for them but I also need to make money to live. I wondered if I shared a past life with Billy, since it felt so real but that doesn’t necessarily mean that. It is just what my mind does; inserts random people into my dreams. This is not the first time it has happened and I am sure it will not be the last.

I also told my spiritual group about this dream since it felt so life like and someone said this which stood out to me “You were with a group of active people who share a passion for what they do. It is wonderful to be in a group like that.” Which resonates deeply with me, since I crave to find a group of people that I vibe with that enjoys the same things as I do; so for me this dream makes sense in some ways, and in other ways I still have no idea. It is just funny, I don’t remember my dreams for weeks and this is the one that I remember. Isn’t life so funny the way it works!!?

I will enjoy the dream I had and see the things that stand out the most and take that as the main purpose of the dream while everything else is just an added bonus.

Have a beautiful day everyone! xoxo