Do what you love

Yesterday was a great day for me; I completed my first book. I am still waiting on the cover art to come back, and I need author photo but once I get those done I will be ready to publish. I will keep all of you up to date on the progress and when it will be release. I am so proud of this book; I quite literally put my heart and soul into it. It is about my spiritual journey and all things I learned along the way. I have been working on it for about 2 years, so I am thrilled it is finally ready.

I also rediscovered my love of hooping yesterday. I mostly only hooped around my waist so I was looking up some tricks to learn and fell in love all over again. It is meditative for me, something I can get lost in. I can allow my body to move and flow however it wants to. Needless to say my hands are bruised beyond belief this morning; I was working on isolation’s last night. No pain, no gain, right? I am going to try to practice more today, I just don’t know how far I will get since my hands are pretty sore.

Also, dont forget I am now offering tarot card readings. If you would like one simply go to the services section of the website.

I hope all of you have a wonderful day, find something you love & never give up…

My absence

Over the past week I have been battling a illness, my sinus have been giving me a hard time. The weather has decided it is no long winter, and that spring should be here. So along with spring comes my allergies to pollen. Anyways, this isn’t what the blog is about today so let’s get it to it.

On Sunday, before I got sick my husband, dog and I went to the state forest to get away for a few hours. The thing I love the most about the forest besides all the tress is when my phone says no service. It’s a kind of liberating feeling to just be for a few hours, with no distractions.

We were walking on a trial right off the road, when we stumbled along an old P.O.W. Camp that had once been there. So we started to walk around the camp. It was fascinating to see all the buildings they had built, the aqueducts they had built to supply water to the camp, and overall just how large the camp was. The first side of the camp we encountered was not “bad” or giving off any negative energies that I could feel. It’s hard to say what these buildings were since only the foundations remain. As we kept walking I felt compelled to walk a certain direction, so I follow it and let it guide me. We ended up in a part of the camp that I did not like at all. As we were walking, I told my husband that I felt different, I felt anxiety and a heavy sadness. He then told me that I was in a building, which I hadn’t noticed. I kept waking, down this trail where there seemed to be nothing, but I knew something was at the end of it. As I walked down this trail, I began to feel like a officer in the military. I had on a green coat, it was long, down to my mid calf, I had a green hat with golden metals or some sort of engraving on the front. I had brown boots, tall brown boots. I had brown hair, and a brown mustache, I had brown gloves in my hand. As I walked I looked down at the ground, I knew what had to be done but I felt remorse and guilt for it. Then I came to the end of the path, there was the remains of a building. I hated this building, I believe some very horrific things happened in this place. It was a prime location for it, a mile away from any of the other buildings in the camp. Surrounded by nothing, no one to hear your screams. I quickly left this location, and walked back down the path as I did so this time, I felt as if two men were carrying me, one under each of my arms. I felt like I was bloody, beaten and almost on the edge of death. I quickly release what was not mine, and told the spirits they could not come home with they. That they must remain where they are meant to be.

As we walked away further and further from this location, we came to the entrance of the camp, were to the right a building used to be. I walked into the building, it felt like an administrative building, where people would be admitted into the camp. Behind where the building used to be was a ton oak trees, one of these trees called out to me so I walked over to it. I touched the tree, said “hello” and asked to exchange energy with him. I say him because oak trees are more masculine to me than other trees. He gave me his energy, and it began to ground me. I lost track of him, getting lost in how amazing this energy felt. I came back to reality and thanked the tree for what he had given me, and removed my hand. I felt high, and grounded; I could feel the bottoms of my feet connected deeply within our great mother. It was amazing to be that in a place riddled with darkness, that there would be a tree that was beautiful and light; that was never affected by this darkness. I have made a tree friend, and I will be visiting him again.

If you have never made a tree friend, I would suggest you try sometime. Trees hold much wisdom and knowledge. Humans could learn a lot from trees, they stand strong and firm where they are, they show us death is beautiful, and how important it is to have roots.

Next time I go, I will try to remember to bring my camera so I can take pictures for everyone to see.

Feeling the full moon

Over the past week or so, I have felt so out of sorts. I feel like a have a cold coming on; I am physically tired, just drained, completely. At night I get so hot that I wake up, throw the covers off and just lay there; then eventually I get cold and have to throw the covers back on. This has been my struggle since the full moon.

From the people I have talked to that have been experiencing the same thing, have said that is it our human bodies upgrading and releasing old ways of being. This makes total sense to me since I have been actively working to rid myself of old patterns and ways of being that no long resonate with me. Basically anything that does not align with my highest potential of being, I want to get rid of. I have been more aware and more awake than ever before. My body just has to get used to this new way of being, and the higher vibration that comes with it. Now more than ever staying grounded is so important. Walks in nature are my favorite way to achieve this, but I also use stones and mediation to help me.

I have changed so much already, and I’m looking forward to more growth and evolving. The growth within me resonates to all my other relationships. Seeing them differently, taking a different approach to things, and helping others see what they need to change within themselves. Everything is different now, and I embrace it; I would never want things to go back to how they used to be. I love this new me too much.

Stay strong in this time, take the time to rest and recharge. Be aware of the things that are coming up, thank them, and look deeper into them. Why are they coming up? What triggered this, and why? What is in with you that you need to see? This is how growth happens, it can be painful but it is all a part of the experience. The benefits you receive from doing the work, far exceed any amount of pain.

Namaste

 

P.s- I have updated my website; I am now offering tarot readings for anyone who is interested.

Path to healing

Over the past few days I have become increasingly aware of the next step I need to take in my spiritual journey. I knew I wanted to rid myself of old thinking patterns that no longer work for me. Old belief systems that are old and worn out, and that I no longer believe to be true. Basically, getting rid of everything that no longer resonates with me. I need to find myself again, and re align with my highest potential. I knew that in knowing all of this I was on the right path, I just didn’t know how to accomplish the task. So I took to the spiritual group I am in, they are like family to me. I knew that they would understand and give me guidance and advice. Many people commented with their advice but out of all of them, only one resonated with me. She wrote, “You may need to forgive your parents as a child. I am going through the same thing, and that is what I have begun to do.” It’s like a lightbulb went off, that is exactly what I needed to do; I just knew it. I read a couple articles on this topic, and as I read it became clearer and clearer that my inner child was screaming out to me for help.

I went on YouTube to see if they had any meditation videos on this topic, and sure enough they did. I got comfortable, and begun to relax for a few minutes. Once I got settled, I started the video, took some deep breathes and relaxed further. As the mediation progressed I came to this place were all my memories of my childhood, that are linked to her pain, are all stored. I could see all these little clouds of memories, I could hear the echoes of them all around me. Until one of them stood out the most, I don’t know why this one stood out the most. Perhaps because it the newest wound, or it’s the most vivid in my mind. Whatever the reason, I entered this memory. Everything was as I remembered it expect for one part. Instead of me being an adult, I was a child. This is how I see myself when I mediate, when I dream, and when I go to my happy place. I am always a little blonde haired girl, with a white cotton dress, and no shoes. It was at this point that I realized, this is how I still see myself. I still see myself as this little girl that is broken, hurt, and sad. A little girl who just wants to be enough, accepted, and loved. So many people tell me they love me but very few actually show it. As someone who runs off emotions, I want to feel your love, anyone can say it but not everyone can make you feel it.

So here I am in this memory, with myself, I take her hand and tell her “You don’t need to be sad anymore, I am here to protect you and keep you safe. The people that inflected pain upon you shows more about them than you. There is nothing wrong with you, and you no longer need to feel that there is.” I asked her what she needs to do to heal, “I need to forgive everyone that has hurt me. You have forgiven them but I haven’t. I need to, it is time” she replied. I then tell her “You had no control over the situation, there is nothing that you could’ve done.” With a tear running down her cheek, she smiles and says “I know.” “We have control our life now, we choose what happens to us. Which is why we must forgive our parents, we cannot allow them to have control over us any longer.” She then whispers something to me, which I do not remember. I then come out of the mediation and fall right asleep.

Upon waking, I still feel some lingering sadness, which I will feel as deeply as I know how to. I may even have a beautiful release of tears. This pain was created by tears so it only seems fitting that I release it the same way.

Remember we are never really done growing and evolving, we all have traumas and pain we carry with us. Be gentle to one another, spread love, be kind, and smile. There is much beauty to be found in all of us

New Experiences

In keeping with my theme this year of new experiences outside of my comfort zone, with some friends, and my husband, we went to the rage and shot shotguns. It was my first experience ever firing a weapon, not to mention shoot clay’s.

We got on the bus that drives you down into the woods where you start, and on the ride down I was getting nervous. I was unsure if I would enjoy my time. I did know that I would either love it or hate it; that there would be no in between. We got out to the first set up, I watched everyone go before me, and then it was my turn. My friend showed me how to load it, cock it, aim, and use it.  He gave me my shells; I got up to the post and begin to load it.  I was sure to put the shotgun in the correct place, aim as best as I could, and shoot. Upon me finishing my round, I wasn’t taken by surprise by the force it has, or the kick back it has. I felt comfortable, and in control.

Even though the clays were bright orange, often times it was hard to me to see them. That was the hardest part of my first day; I tried to aim as best as I could. As went through more and more different set ups, I began to enjoy it more and more. Throughout the day, I got more comfortable with the shotgun, and starting getting used to aiming for clays. At the end of the day, I ended up hitting 2 clays, which I am pretty excited about. I thought it was a decent number for my first time. On the bus ride back to the car everyone talked about how well they had done, and how much fun it was.  I will tell you by the end of the day, and even now I loved doing it. It was so much fun, and something I wouldn’t normally do. It was nice to enjoy time outdoors, with friends, learning something new.

This is why it is so important to get out of your comfort zone, and live a little. It’s the only way you find new parts of yourself that you never knew were there before; it is how you grow and how you find out what you like and what you don’t. Living is the reason we are alive, so don’t sit around wasting it. Be present in the moment, put your cell phone away and live in each moment; it’s the only way to enjoy each moment

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