Around Christmas time I decided that I would do something for myself. Something that I have always wanted to do but never did out of fear of what others would say. I decided that I would enjoy the pescatarian lifestyle; which simply means that I would only eat fish and seafood. I haven’t had any meat since Christmas day, and I have felt so much better as a result. I have felt lighter, free, and just at peace. I feel as if my energy is now my own; when I would eat meat I would feel everything that animal went through and it messed with my energy. Now that just doesn’t happen, and it feels amazing. Most of all, I feel proud of myself to finally get out of my own way. To do something I have always wanted to do, and stick with it.
When I first told my husband the plans I had for myself, he freaked out a little bit. I told him “I am doing this for me and me only. I am not going to make you stop eating meat or judge you because you do. This is something that I need to do for me. It’s that simple.” He then smiled and understood, he said “I will support you fully in anything that you do. Dinners will be a little more challenging but we will work around that.” I thanked him for understanding; I did not need his support but it was very comforting knowing that I had it.
Since then I have told many other people about my lifestyle change, and to my surprise people get really angry or make a big deal about it. It isn’t a big deal that people don’t enough vegetables but since I’ve stopped eating me it’s the end of the world. When they act like this all I see is fear; fear of not understanding and fear of change. I feel a sense of sadness for these people; they are missing out on so much of life. Don’t let fear stop you, don’t like other people stop you. Do what you need to do for YOU, screw everyone else. People don’t want you to change because they are afraid of changing themselves; their fear is not yours so don’t own it. This year I will not let fear get in my way, I will forge my own path; I will change and be happy. I have told countless people “You do not need to like it, you don’t even have to understand it but you will respect it. If you don’t respect me and my choices, than I will leave.” This statement alone has thrown off many people, I guess me standing up for myself takes them by surprise.
Over the past year, I have seen a change in most of my views that I was taught to believe growing up. This happening has made me reset how I see the world, the people in it, everything. Since this happened I have not stood as strongly as I should when talking to others about what I believe to be true; my beliefs never stray I just am not as vocal about them. I am a lover not a fighter, I do not like to debate or argue so I often let people talk at me until they are finished. Well that will change this year, people will hear what I have to say about things. More than ever I feel that fear being purged from within me. It has no place in my life; it only shows me that I am on the right path.
2017 is the year of new beginnings and change and that is exactly what will happen. This is the year I will work to make all my dreams come true, I will have everything I need and will gain so much. There is a new person I am headed to becoming, one filled with more love and understanding. A strong warrior goddess who lets passion and love drive her. I have never been so excited to embody her.