Roller coaster of emotions

Last Friday at a local crystal shop they were giving away free 10 minutes readings, so I thought I’d try it out. I have only gotten readings from beloved friends before so I was curious to see what a total stranger would say or see.

Last week was rough for me in the fact that it was a roller coaster of emotions. The constant up and down of life was in full swing. When Thursday came around I felt fantastic, I was the embodiment of joy and love. I was vibrating at my highest, and it felt amazing. Friday, was different though, I still felt as if I was vibrating on a higher level, just different from the previous day. Like something was coming to the surface to be healed. Looking back now, it all makes perfect sense and I was just aligning myself for a break down so I could break through.

I decided to get a free reading; I mean what could it hurt, right? I waited and waited for my turn in line, when it finally came I got nervous. I know from experience what you want to hear and what spirit tells you are often very different. I sit down with her and she asks if there is anything that I want to ask or if I want to do an overall reading. I tell her just an overall reading would be good, since I didn’t want to give too much away. I am always cautious with a new reader; you never know who is true and who isn’t. She began to tell me things about my marriage, and about myself. That I cannot be friends with certain people because there is too much there to just be friends. That I am on the right path, and about to have a huge spiritual awakening; to keep moving forward. To be sure of the choices I make and if I find myself not liking the path I have chosen I can always back up and try another path. She said there was a baby in my aura, and to work things out before that happens.

Now for me, this was a lot in just 10 minutes, she basically mind fucked me. (for lack of a better word) She made me feel like I was powerless and the world was seamlessly spinning out of control around me. I cried, the entire way home and just felt more confused and lost that I have in a very long time. When I got home I talked to friends about what had happened, and how I felt about the whole thing. Some friends were very helpful to me, others I felt judged me. Over the course the evening, I came to this conclusion.

I am sick and tired of everyone telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. I am the master of my own destiny; I am the driver and creator. I decide what is best for me and what isn’t. Others will judge me for the way I feel and the things I do, I will love them anyway. They come from a place of closed mindedness, or not understanding. I do not blame them, I will not condemn them, I will only love them. I can be with friends with whomever I choose, I simply must take caution when there is a past life connection. Future tellers can only tell you so much, the future changes every day with every choice we make; just because they see something there doesn’t mean it is going to happen. I will feel the way I feel about people and that is how it is mean to be. Just because I am married doesn’t mean it is wrong of me to hold love for another. Just because I hold love in my heart for others doesn’t mean it is romantic in nature and doesn’t mean I love my husband less. Love is what we are all made of; it is what we desire more than anything else in this world. So when I find it, I always cherish it. Most importantly of all, the answers I seek I cannot find in anyone else, they are within me. I must take the time to look within myself to see what it is that I truly need and want. Everyone else is simply a guide.

Looking back at this whole experience, I am so grateful that this happened. I needed to crash and burn so I could rebuild myself with a stronger understanding of self. I will always believe that everything happens for a reason, and this is just one more example of that.

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