Tuesday Adventures

Since all the holiday activities have come to a close; my husband and I decided to take a road trip with some friends. It was a wonderful day full of firsts for me.

We took about a two hour drive to Yuengling brewery, which happens to be one of my favorite go to beers and America’s oldest brewery. When we got there you could tell it was an old town; you could almost in vision horse and buggy’s driving on the streets and woman in hoop dresses. The town is built on the side of a mountain; the streets are narrow and tight. When we got to Yuengling, we walked around the gift shop and signed up for the tour. They had a small museum in the back of the way they used to brew beer and old photos, it was very interesting. The gift shop and museum was in the old ice cream parlor across the street from the actually brewery.

The tour began in the basement of the brewery; it smelled damp and musty like any typical basement. She talked about history of the brewery, and how they used to keg beer. Then we walked into the lager caves, which were incredible. I cannot believe people dug these tunnels out by hand, I can see why it took they 10 years. We went to all parts of the brewery which was awesome to see; the tour was about an hour long. She covered so much information I just wish that she had told us more about prohibition. They started to make ice cream while prohibition was law, but I heard some people saying that the ice cream was only a front and they continued to brew beer in secret, I don’t know if there is any fact to that or not. At the end of the tour we had some samples, and walked around the gift shop some more.

While we were up that way, we decided to visit Centralia. It is a ghost town since a mine fire started in the 1962. The town only has about 7 people remain in the town, and all of the other houses and building have been torn down and removed. There are no signs saying you are there, it is a town that doesn’t exist, and even the zip code has been taken away. Driving through what used to be neighborhoods was kind of creepy. You saw stop sings, what remained of sidewalks, and a few chain link yard fences but that’s it. Everything else was gone, if you didn’t know it used to be a town, they would drive through it will no thought. Nature has pretty much taken over everything, expect the roads (but even they are not in the best condition).

There is an old part of the highway that had been closed off due to the mine fire, this is now called graffiti highway. It is about a mile stretch of highway that is covered in graffiti, and as you go down the highway toward the end of it, you will notice the ground beginning to crack. The fire had changed the landscape of the road, which is why they closed it off. I guess they got sick of repairing it. It was fun to ride on an abandoned highway, and just see all the things people paint there.

After spending sometime there, we left and drove around. Since this place was new to all of us we just wanted to drive around. We ended up finding an off roading trail; so my husband and I hopped into our friend’s jeep and took off. It was muddy since it had rained that morning, so we had a lot of fun playing in the mud and driving up the mountain. The trails began to get to narrow for our liking so we decided to come back down the mountain. There were people on four wheelers flying around, having a good time. We returned to our car, and decided we needed to get some food. So we ended the day with beer and pizza.

I had never been off roading before and it was so fun. I can totally see why people do it; I just would never want to drive. I am perfectly happy being a passenger. I have never really been one for adventure but I find it so attractive now. Perhaps that is part of my growth and development, to push myself. To break free of the safety box I have created, to simply live. I still feel so alive today; I am ready to break down more walls. 2017 is going to be a huge year full of love, change and new beginnings. I just can’t wait to see what the new year brings, I am so excited. There are so many things I want to achieve in the new year, but that is a blog for another day.

Find your adventure, explore new places and have fun. Spend time with people you vibe with, that make you feel alive and forget the rest. Be happy, be free and remember to smile. I send my love to all of you. xo

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Reality of Life

Sometimes you just gotta say fuck it!! Love the people you love, even if that means loving them from afar. Do what makes YOU happy. Be with people that make you feel alive. Your master, and creator of your own destiny. Go live your life the way you want. No apologies, only truths and love.

Your amazing, beautiful, filled with light and love. Dont let anyone take that away from you, or feel less than you are.

Materialistic Christmas

In the next few days Christmas will be here; a holiday that has been shoved down our throats since before thanksgiving. Now don’t get me wrong, Christmas is one of my favorite holidays. All the lights, flowers, colors and coziness that comes to mind, are all so comforting to me. I just don’t like how it’s become more about consumerism and less about giving.

As a child growing up I loved Christmas not only for all the things I listed above but also because the family would get together; it was the one time of year were I got to see everyone and we would all get along (for the most part). I would get to go shopping with my grandmother, cook and bake with her. These memories are the ones I cherish so dearly. Things are so different now; it’s been 16 years since my grandmother passed away. She was the glue that held everyone together, a concept I had never realized or understood until she passed away. Now I don’t see my family unless someone dies, or gets married. Family is so important, it is a key part of life but sadly most of us cannot get passed the earthly distractions that surround us. So ultimately we drift apart and become strangers.

Now that I am grown up with a family of my own, I see everything so differently. I feel like the majority has forgotten about kindness, compassion and giving. All that matters is getting that newest television and the latest greatest technically.  Greedy and quite literally running people down to get what they want; the companies that rule the world, and quite frankly rule us, want us to be this way. Bringing out the worst qualities in humanity, when we act this way they have control over us and our money. It is a true tragedy to see; most of us fall into this trap and don’t even realize it. Comfortable in our materialism and too blind to feel or see the truth.

As I have stated before, I am not religious, I do not celebrate Christmas because it is the lord and savors birthday (or so they say). I celebrate Christmas because I love to give to others, even though I do not have much money and cannot give a lot, it still feels wonderful. It is not about what you give, or how large the gift is, it is about it coming from the heart. It’s about the gift having meaning and thought put into it; those are the gifts I love the most. Christmas for me is not about going into debt buying crap that someone doesn’t want or need. For me it is the joy and compassion, that little glimmer of hope that I have for us all.

I may not have a lot but there is always someone worse off than I am. So I am grateful for all that I do have, and will gladly give to someone worse off than myself. So this holiday season please, look around if you see someone that needs help, help them. Flash a smile to everyone you see.  Stop judging and let your heart guide you. Spread love and kindness this holiday season, and throughout the year. These are the best gifts of all.

Spend sometime on myself

Today I have set aside to have some me time. All the family activities do not start until the weekend, I have finished shopping and decorating; so it is time is right. I knew that I wanted to have a release to end the year out right. I wanted to go deeper into myself than I have ever gone before; and with mercury in retrograde this is the perfect time for it.

Over the past week or so, I have kept myself so busy so I wouldn’t have to deal with anything, I wasn’t ready; but now I am. So I started out my day like I normally do, drinking some hot herbal tea, making a nice breakfast for myself, and walking the dog. I love to walk, even though it is winter now and the temperatures aren’t ideal, I still like to burn off some extra energy. I said my thank you’s to the universe and the elements as I do every day, I then took a deep breathe in and exhaled. There is something about the cold, fresh air coming into your body that just makes you feel good, at least for me.

When we came inside, I gave the dog his treat and came upstairs to my room. A friend had told me to try TAT for releasing, I had never heard of this practice before so I went to YouTube to see what videos I could find. It turns out it’s a very easy exercise that doesn’t take up much time. I thought everything that I wanted to release, and everything I wasn’t aware of that I wanted to release. I took some deep breathes in and out and just let it sail away. I did the exercise twice for about 2 minutes each, and I feel so much lighter. I find it crazy that the simplest things can make all the difference.

I then did a past life regression, it had been a week or so since my last one and I felt compelled to do so, so I did. I started off the way I normally do, asking for protection and wrapping myself in light. I began to go into mediation, when I finally came to my book it opened and I watched as another life unfolded in front of me…..

This time I was a woman with long brown hair with a brown thin headband, I was wearing fingerless gloves made from leather. My corset top was also made of leather, as was my skirt. My skirt at one point had fabrics attached to it which were now ripped off. I had tall leather boots, and a holster made of leather around my thigh that held two small knifes. I also was carrying a large sward holster around my waist with a rather large, heavy sword in it. I was carrying a small brown book in my hands; it had a leather cord wrapped around it to keep the book closed. When I brought the book closer to me, something fell out of it. It was a torn map, old brownish paper; it was a map to Avalon. I was traveling home, there were many people and beings that did not want me to return to my home. I fought my way through the battles, and carried on with my travels. That was it; I started to come out of the meditative state and woke. I believe this was my very first life, or one of my first lives.

As I was writing this down in my journal, I had a aha moment. She is the warrior spirit within, the one that never stops fighting for what she believes in. I am on my way to finding my true home, there will be people and distractions along the way but to keep fighting and looking forward. Never give up on yourself or your beliefs. Everything you need or want is inside of you.

On the road to happiness there will be many obstacles and road blocks, keep moving forward. The only person that can hold you back is yourself.

Deep Thought

So I was talking to my husband on the way home from our busy day, and we started to talk about something that really has me intrigued…..

When you become so passionate about something you talk to someone about it. You become so engulfed in your thoughts and excitement to share that you may come off as egotistical. We’ve been talking about this for a while now, and we’ve come to say totally different points of view. I’m curious as to what everyone thinks of this….

This is my take on the topic….

When we talk about things that makes the fire inside of us come alive, that can’t be egotistical. Unless, you come from a place of thinking your better than someone or someone is wrong for not believing the same as you.

We are all passionate about different things so we can learn from each other. If we come from a place of understanding and love when we share with others I don’t think that could ever be wrong or feeding the ego in anyway. The ego is only fed when you come from a place of pride.

It is the other person ego that does not allow them to open their hearts and eyes to new ways of seeing the world and new ideas of being; and this has nothing to do with us.

What are your thoughts on this topic, I would love to hear what everyone thinks. Please feel free to comment and share.

Loss of a loved on

On Friday I learned that my aunt had lost her fight with cancer and had passed on. I tear up everytime I think about it, even as I write this. She was such a beautiful soul, never saying a bad word about anyone. Always sweet, kind and compassionate. She would only concern herself with the troubles that affected her, and her family. Something that I find truly admirable, she would never got caught up in the drama of everyone else. She was a private person but always wore a beautiful smile. Her smile would light up the room and was so infectious, you find yourself smiling. It was always a pleasure to see her, even though I did not see her often. She is a true Angel who has returned home to shine light upon us in a different way. I find it comforting knowing that she has found peace and is no longer in pain.

Even though you are now in your true form and have found peace I will miss you; until I see you again..

Today we lay her to rest, it will not be an easy day to say the least. Seeing everyone upset, makes me upset and I have my own grief to deal with. It is a downfall of being an empath. Seeing my uncle so heartbroken and lost, kills me. We all have made mistakes in the past but it’s never too late to start a new path. I feel the pain he is going through, and it is unimaginable.

There’s something about death that brings out the truth in all of us. Facing our mortality shows us what really matters, and that everything else is Just an illusion. Tell the ones you love, that you love them. Tell them everyday. Live with love and compassion in your heart. Always smile, and focus on yourself. Don’t fall into the trap that society has built for us. Stay free, and be happy. We all will die one day, live with no regrets and never look back.

Roller coaster of emotions

Last Friday at a local crystal shop they were giving away free 10 minutes readings, so I thought I’d try it out. I have only gotten readings from beloved friends before so I was curious to see what a total stranger would say or see.

Last week was rough for me in the fact that it was a roller coaster of emotions. The constant up and down of life was in full swing. When Thursday came around I felt fantastic, I was the embodiment of joy and love. I was vibrating at my highest, and it felt amazing. Friday, was different though, I still felt as if I was vibrating on a higher level, just different from the previous day. Like something was coming to the surface to be healed. Looking back now, it all makes perfect sense and I was just aligning myself for a break down so I could break through.

I decided to get a free reading; I mean what could it hurt, right? I waited and waited for my turn in line, when it finally came I got nervous. I know from experience what you want to hear and what spirit tells you are often very different. I sit down with her and she asks if there is anything that I want to ask or if I want to do an overall reading. I tell her just an overall reading would be good, since I didn’t want to give too much away. I am always cautious with a new reader; you never know who is true and who isn’t. She began to tell me things about my marriage, and about myself. That I cannot be friends with certain people because there is too much there to just be friends. That I am on the right path, and about to have a huge spiritual awakening; to keep moving forward. To be sure of the choices I make and if I find myself not liking the path I have chosen I can always back up and try another path. She said there was a baby in my aura, and to work things out before that happens.

Now for me, this was a lot in just 10 minutes, she basically mind fucked me. (for lack of a better word) She made me feel like I was powerless and the world was seamlessly spinning out of control around me. I cried, the entire way home and just felt more confused and lost that I have in a very long time. When I got home I talked to friends about what had happened, and how I felt about the whole thing. Some friends were very helpful to me, others I felt judged me. Over the course the evening, I came to this conclusion.

I am sick and tired of everyone telling me what I should or shouldn’t do. I am the master of my own destiny; I am the driver and creator. I decide what is best for me and what isn’t. Others will judge me for the way I feel and the things I do, I will love them anyway. They come from a place of closed mindedness, or not understanding. I do not blame them, I will not condemn them, I will only love them. I can be with friends with whomever I choose, I simply must take caution when there is a past life connection. Future tellers can only tell you so much, the future changes every day with every choice we make; just because they see something there doesn’t mean it is going to happen. I will feel the way I feel about people and that is how it is mean to be. Just because I am married doesn’t mean it is wrong of me to hold love for another. Just because I hold love in my heart for others doesn’t mean it is romantic in nature and doesn’t mean I love my husband less. Love is what we are all made of; it is what we desire more than anything else in this world. So when I find it, I always cherish it. Most importantly of all, the answers I seek I cannot find in anyone else, they are within me. I must take the time to look within myself to see what it is that I truly need and want. Everyone else is simply a guide.

Looking back at this whole experience, I am so grateful that this happened. I needed to crash and burn so I could rebuild myself with a stronger understanding of self. I will always believe that everything happens for a reason, and this is just one more example of that.


My dreams last night were vivid and intense, but not only that it has just came to my realization that it is the first dream I have remember in weeks; making this dream even more insightful than I had originally thought.

I had this dream I was driving my car, it was a road that I can’t recall ever being on before. To my left was a farmer’s field, to my right was a small dirt lane to pull off but after that was a cliff. I was driving up a rather steep hill, in a state on peace and comfort. I noticed up ahead that there was a gasoline truck, speeding into the dirt pull off lane to my right. I slowed down a bit and took caution since I was unsure as to what this gasoline truck was doing. As I get closer I speed up a bit so that I can pass him, I get maybe 100 yards away from him and he puts the truck in reverse. Kicking up massive amounts of dirt into the air, and blocks the road. I slam on my brakes, and turn left hoping I will go into the farmer’s field for safety. I truly thought that this truck was going to ram into the side of my car. Instead of me going into the farmers field my car just keeps going in circles, until I slow down and stopped completely. As my car is doing this, the gasoline truck circle’s around me. The truck than suddenly hits the gas and speeds up the hill only to run off of the cliff. I move my car over to the dirt pull off lane and just sit there for a second. I thank the universe, angels, and my spirit guides for keeping my safe. People run from their cars to check on the driver of the truck, and come running down to see if I am okay. I tell them my story of what happened, and I wake up; heart racing, totally freaked out but okay.

Upon my waking the dream made little sense to me, I could only think of how odd a dream this was. I haven’t dreamt of me driving before, at least not that I can recall. To dream of a gasoline truck no less, is ever stranger still. So I posted my dream in the spiritual group I help admin to get an outside perceptive of what I meanings I could be overlooking.  One of the people in the group commented that it could be something as simple as me not allowing outside energies to affect me. Thinking in the way that the gasoline truck delivers its gas to the gas stations where we fill our cars with fuel, or food. It’s the same as going to the grocery store; they control what food is available for you to buy, to fuel your body. So in essence, I am not letting the outside world control my energy; I am my own person. I think for myself, I do not give up easily and stay true to what I believe to be true. Which is why the truck gave up and ran off the cliff to someone else, he could not feed me the lies he wanted to spread.

Thinking in this sense, makes everything I have been going through just click. It feels right, and feels true. This dream is so profound to me that it makes me grateful that I am aligned with the divine. That I am on the right path, to more positivity and more abundance; I am in alignment with where I am meant to be.


Letter to myself

I was looking through old photos last night, and in doing this I can across and old photo of myself. I must have been 18 in the photo. In looking at this photo, I smiled and began to think of how much I have changed in those 11 years.

So I write to my 18 year old self, I see how sad you are. I see how confused and lost you are, but I am here to tell you everything will be okay. I know you simply urn for unconditional love, and to be accepted. Little do you know all which you crave is inside of you. This is a lesson that will take you many years to fully understand; you cannot find love in another until you have found it in yourself. You can try to love yourself through another but it will never give you the satisfaction you crave, or need. You will think that things can’t get any worse, but they will. When you have reached the bottom there is nowhere to go but up, you cannot live in light without first living in the dark. Remember that, it will comfort you.  You will never lose hope in love; you know that the love you desire is just a moment away. This is something I have always loved so much about you, your undying hope. Just remember everything you have ever wanted is at your fingertips, you just have to be willing to do the work to reach it.

To my future self, I am looking forward to all the beautiful things you have in store for me. I am on this course of life, which every day I learn and feel something new. Every day is a new experience, a new way of seeing the world, and myself. I feel so light and free, liberated from the old skin I’ve worn for so long. I will remember when you reach the top there is nowhere to go but down, so I will stay humble and enjoy every second of bliss that is given to me.  I will cherish the dark times for all the lessons they give me. There are many things I wish to achieve with you but most of all, and probably the most importantly I wish to achieve a legacy of love behind me.  Love is what lives within me; it encompasses my soul, and transcends light throughout my being.

Everything you go through is meant to happen the way is has, everything is a lesson and a growth process. Enjoy all that is given to you, take nothing for granted and be free. Fill every moment with love, laughter and always remember to smile.