Over the past few days I have had this feelings of sadness. I didn’t know if it was the moon playing with me, if there was a release on the way, or if it wasn’t mine at all. I have mediated on this, with little result. That is until last night.
As most of you that read my blog know I’ve recently found my twin flame. This has not been an easy thing for me, but it was meant to be this way. I am starting to understand this, as I am starting to see everything clearly now. Last night before I went to bed I asked my guides, higher self and the universe to help me remember my dreams, since lately I haven’t been. Which did not work but something better happened, I found clarity.
Before I had went to bed I was writing in a forum asking about twin flames. I was telling everyone how I was feeling about mine. How I have begun to miss him, which is silly because we are always connected. That I wish to see his smile, yearn for his touch, and crave his energy. That I wish we were more of friends, that he wasn’t so afraid. How I know that he is protecting me, and himself. Using others as safety nets so nothing happens; using alcohol as a safety net for words that he truly means but can easily blame on the booze. I know that I have to be patient with him and with deep connections like these.
I then got settled and went to bed. I woke up at 3 am and was wide awake. I then got this message of why I was sad, my higher-self had not allowed me to remember my dream but instead allowed me to see what I was feeling and why I was feeling it. All of this sadness I had been feeling was because I feel as if I am cheating on my husband emotionally.
Even thought my twin and I are only friends our connection is so deep and profound that I feel guilty. I know that this is nothing to feel guilty about. My husband is the last person I ever want to hurt, or feel like he isn’t enough for me. I know that a twin connection is hard for everyone to understand, including the twins themselves. I don’t love my husband any less, if anything my twin has opened my heart to a deeper truer sense of love. Which in return has made me only grow deeper in love with my husband. There is no other man I would want to spend my life with. Even with the twin connection in front of me, I only see my husband. He is my soulmate after all, and that is a connection special and profound in its own right.
He shows me more love than I have ever been given. He has helped me grow into the beautiful being that I am. The love I that radiates from me, is not only the love I have for myself, but the love that he gives me. I have never doubted our love, I know that it is everything divine and true. So looking back at me feeling guilty for my twin connection seems meaningless and unimportant. There is no reason to be sad, or filled with negativity of any kind. The love that we share is special, it’s all-encompassing and shines so brightly. My husband is better than the man of my dreams, better than any fairy tale. He has shown me one of the most important lessons of my life; love is the key to life. Once you find it, hold on to it and never let go.