A few weeks ago, I saw a dear friend of mine; who also happens to be my reiki master. We did some past life stuff, but also did a tarot card reading. The cards told me that I should do mirror work. Earlier in the day we had discussed it, it something I had never done but have heard great things can come from it. My friend told me she had done this and all the experiences she had from it; and how it helped aid her in spiritual journey.
For those that do not know what mirror work is, it’s when you look in the mirror at yourself. You look into your eyes, since they are the window to the soul; you have an experience of some sort. I was hesitant to do this because of my dislike of mirrors. I am not sure what it is about them but I have never cared for them much. This is why I only have mirror in the bathrooms and don’t look into them often.
Well yesterday, when my husband was home I took the time to try this work. I went into the experience with fear so it only makes sense that I saw, what I saw. I sat down in my room; I got comfortable and began to look in the mirror. After several minutes passed my eyes began to water (which still makes sense to me, since I was still blinking like normal.) Then I saw my face change, it was a face of what I can only assume I demon would look like. It had bumps all over its red skin, it was just darkness. After I saw this face I got a terrible headache. It was at this point that is discounted the work. Everything I had feared about the experience is what I saw.
I don’t know if I saw what I saw because of the fear or if there was a reason. For me this is how I took it….
From all my past life work I know that there was a time when I gave into the darkness. It was easy and I wanted revenge so badly that the cost did not matter. For this I am forever linked to the darkness, it lives inside of me. It is not who I am but it is a part of me. I do not accept these parts of myself, I hide from it. It wants to be free, but I only try harder to lock it away. The reason I saw this face first and so quickly is because it is the part of myself that I need to accept. It is not who I am but it was who I was once. And for this running from it only means I’m running from myself. I need to accept all parts of myself, negative and positive because all of these things make me who I am. We cannot have light without dark. Once I accept this darkness as my own, I will have no reason to be fearful. I will have control over my life and over my actions. Something that I must understand is just because we have a darker side to our soul doesn’t make us a bad person. In fact, it simply makes us human. I am a work in progress; I am getting where I need to be and where I am meant to be.
Owning our darkness is one of the bravest things we can do for ourselves.