I am a firm believer that we choose are parents, and that we choose the lives that we are going to have. Our souls choose these lives because they are lessons that we must learn and grow from. So in thinking about this, I have started to wonder why I choose my parents. What lessons have I needed to learn, how I was supposed to grow; this is the conclusion I have come to.
I choose my father to show him how to love. I believe my father loves very few things in this world but he’s love for me has always been transparent. He’s taught me to do things right to first time and to do them correctly. Nothing is allowed to look like crap, perfection is key. He has shown me this is many ways, mostly when it comes to doing a diy project on our home. I’ve learned that you hurt the ones you love because they love you and won’t leave. That nothing good ever comes from anger and frustration. It is okay to tell people how it is and not think twice about it. That you shouldn’t deal with people being rude or impolite to you. Most of the things I’ve seen from him are negative but in the brief moments of positivity he shines so brightly. He is a beautiful soul, I just wish that he would see it.
As for my mother, I believe I choose her because I was meant to guide her on the path of release. We have shared many memories together, even in the worst of situations we always find a reason to laugh. She has taught me that you keep your home clean and tidy. Everything has a place and you should always put things away when you are finished. That no matter how much you try you cannot change anyone expect yourself. That you cannot be both parents, you only give the love of one, no matter how hard you try. Supporting the ones you love, no matter what. To be truthful at all costs, even when it is hard. I’ve learned so many things from her I could keep going on and on. As I said, I believe I choose her to guide her to let go of the past and leave it there. We often cling onto the past so tightly that we lose track of the present.
It is not our parents fault that they teach us negative behaviors, they are simply showing us what they learned from their parents. They are not wrong for doing this either, they are simply doing the best they can do. All the lessons I have learned from them saved me from making a lot of my own mistakes and noticing when I was headed down a road I wanted to get off of. I am doing my best to work on myself, and get rid of behaviors that do not suit me so when I do have children I can give them the best chance at not repeating them. I have happy that I chose the parents that I did, and perhaps I already knew that I would. Souls are a funny thing, they know exactly what they want even if we don’t realize it yet.